Monday, February 07, 2005

Valentine's Day Massacre: sexual secret 1

For those who read this regularly, this will not come as a surprise: I am a highly sexual person. And I have reached that certain age where I have figured out a few things sexually. So as a public service for all the little girls under 25 who haven't quite figured men out yet, here is a bit of advice. Men have an inherent weakness: blowjobs. Now anyone with the sense not to scrape teeth can give a moderately decent blowjob. Wanna know the simple key to knock up the skill level a bit? SWALLOW.
Seemingly a simple concept, but you would be amazed at the amount of women who are squeamish about this. WHY? If you can French kiss, you can swallow. Its all body fluids. According to a medical professional I know, as long as there are no open sores in the mouth, stomach acid kills anything swallowed. If women are afraid to swallow, don't be sucking cock in the first place. That being said, there is a way to do it where you taste nothing: just make sure you deep throat at the second of orgasm. The cum goes down the throat, and no taste. I don't need to do this anymore, but it is helpful to beginners.

Ok that's the biology behind it. The benefits? LOL ask a man. So few women even like to give blowjobs that the ones that do stand out. And if you swallow, there are so few women that do that you will never leave a guys subconscious. I did an admittedly informal poll of my guy friends, both intimate and non, about swallowing. At first their answers were that it didn't matter if a woman swallowed. Then I listened further and kept hearing an interesting comment. Most of the men kept saying it didn't matter if the woman "rejected" their cum. Rejected? I pursued this further and found an interesting train of thought. Men tend to take the whole swallowing thing, as they do most things, straight to the ego. Think about it from their point of view. The are looking down watching a woman suck their dick(they ALL watch), they cum, and the chica performing starts spitting semen like its battery acid. I would think this would be a bit disconcerting,if not downright insulting. Definitely a mood breaker. And sadly enough, most men tend to get used to this and not even bother to expect anything else. But if you swallow, it makes the man feel appreciated, cause if we swallow obviously we don't find them, ahem, distasteful. It shows that the woman likes them enough to make the effort. And the actual swallowing mechanism feels damn good so I'm told. Trust me ladies, if you want to make sure you get a second phone call, just swallow. Act like its the most natural thing in the world. This technique pays dividends. It will make you stand out from the crowd and thats the point.