Wednesday, February 16, 2005

My brief brush with whoredom

It was bound to happen sooner or later. The whole thing with Mr. Cool has bit the dust. He asked me if I wanted to turn tricks for him. Let me break the situation down with me: I'm trying to get over an assault, I want to go to Savannah College of Art so bad I can taste it, and I'm broke. Mr. Cool had connections. So I agreed. I went with a guy last Thursday and gave him a blowjob. 10 minute job=60 dollars. So he wanted me to do some real tricks this weekend at the aforementioned party from an earlier post. I said yes. I got there and he didn't tell me where or who I was doing. I waited a few hours, then went off with T. I had a splendid evening for free. Then Sunday night the IM's started coming, from Mr. Cool. The guilt trips about blowing $1500 because I went off by myself. So I ended it. I ended my chance to go to school, I ended what I thought was a relationship with a guy who supposedly loved me. I might have saved my inner self worth. I was never really part of that world. I played there for awhile. I will miss the friends I had there. It also hurt when I ended other parts of my life. Now I have to figure out what's next. Also I have to figure out if keeping my self respect was worth losing a chance to go to school. I want a man who loves me for what I am, not what he wants me to be. So I am truly single again....Lovely.