Saturday, September 04, 2004

Dying like you

I was checking up on my biker news yesterday at work when I learned of the death of Indian Larry. Larry Desmedt was a stuntman, wildman, chopper artisan, and blessed fool till August 30. He was doing his most famous stunt, standing on a moving cycle at speeds up to 65 mph, with no helmet. He had done this stunt thousands of times. The thousand and first he wrecked, sustaining massive Head injuries. He was with his friends filming a segment of "Great Biker Build-Off" for Discovery Channel, at The Liquid Steel Classic and Custom Bike Series in Charlotte, NC. He died of his injuries later that day. He was 55.
Now most people would roll their eyes when hearing of an accident like this. It could be said that he tempted fate, or that he was asking for it. He was. Indian Larry lived life not in nibbles, but in as much as he could bite off and chew. He was fierce and noble and free. He also was foolhardy and reckless. He lived every second of his life to the absolute fullest. How many others do? How many of us can actually say we have lived our lives with as much gusto as we can? I often think we have to live full throttle, next to death always, to really be able to feel alive. Could you actually imagine living such a full, rich life, then dying the same way? Dying doing the one thing you love the most?
In this week it will be the second anniversary of my husbands death. He would have been the same age as Indian Larry, and Larry reminded me a lot of John. My husband lived such a life. Not by tempting death, but by squeezing every once he could out of life. Even though he was not blessed (or cursed?) with a sudden death, he faced it without fear. Fear, the great destroyer, the one thing that sucks the life out of most of us. I include myself in this. Since John's death, fear has been a constant companion: fear of not being able to support myself, fear of not feeling love. Fear of failure. I am tired of fear. Fear has kept me with a man for the last several months that has robbed me of actually living my life to the fullest. NO MORE.
I swear, on this anniversary week of John's death, to live my life to the absolute fullest. I swear to push past the fear and do and experience as much life as I can choke on. I invite all who read this to join me in living life to the max, and to call me on it if I don't. I don't want to die with any regrets, and want to thank Larry for reminding me of that by not dying with any of his own.


Anonymous said...

excellent points !!! Go for it !!