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Friday, October 20, 2006

Desperately Seeking Somebody

I have actually started looking for a playmate for during the week, although its no better than half-assed. I'm just not feeling it. I don't see usefulness of paying $30 for a month of AdultFriendFinder, because they only people on there just want to fuck. That just leaves me cold. I want someone more to sit there and talk to me, spend time with me. I want someone to hang out with and watch crazy TV or watch me paint or want to go to artsy places. It doesn't even have to be more than 2 days a week. If we end up in the sack, all well and good, but I need a intellectual connection first and foremost.

If I don't end up finding someone, Daniel will feel terrible about having a play partner in WV. I don't want him to feel that way. He deserves companionship as much as I do. HE works to pay the bills so I can stay home, He's the one who rarely has free time. I think he's more deserving than I am. I don't contribute financially to this home-he does. Not that there is no value to what I do; I just don't feel that valuable. Daniel has told me that if I don't find someone, he will stop with his play partner and have me stay in the apartment during the week up there, and come home with him on weekends. Yes, I would see him more. But, I love my nest/shell/cocoon. It would be physically hard on me to do that as well. That apartment is kinda cold, and winter is damn near here. I do not want a substitute husband- I have the only husband I will ever want or need. I would like a good friend with benefits occasionally though.

So the best thing I knew to do is update my ad on witchvox.com. That way, I'd be targeting like minds that weren't there just for sex. Let's see how it goes..updates to follow.

3 comments:

Lin said...

Zezrie

You are awesome. I have followed your blog for a long time now, and I envy your emotional security so much. What a fantastic relationship you have !
I wish I could be comfortable enough to cope with my husband having a playmate (or even just cope with the idea of sex outside marriage) but alas, I'm far too insecure :-)

You inspire me, and I check in on your blog every day.

Lin

zezrie said...

Lin,
Thank you so much! I sometimes wishe I had more emotional securety than I have, lOL. Thank you so much for posting, an send me a person email if you like.
Zezrie

Anonymous said...

If only you weren't so far away! I love your blog and would love to hang out sometime. And if we were to end up in th sack, I agree. All well and good ;) Seriously though, good luck. Things will work out. I like th new look here!

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