Friday, October 20, 2006

Desperately Seeking Somebody

I have actually started looking for a playmate for during the week, although its no better than half-assed. I'm just not feeling it. I don't see usefulness of paying $30 for a month of AdultFriendFinder, because they only people on there just want to fuck. That just leaves me cold. I want someone more to sit there and talk to me, spend time with me. I want someone to hang out with and watch crazy TV or watch me paint or want to go to artsy places. It doesn't even have to be more than 2 days a week. If we end up in the sack, all well and good, but I need a intellectual connection first and foremost.

If I don't end up finding someone, Daniel will feel terrible about having a play partner in WV. I don't want him to feel that way. He deserves companionship as much as I do. HE works to pay the bills so I can stay home, He's the one who rarely has free time. I think he's more deserving than I am. I don't contribute financially to this home-he does. Not that there is no value to what I do; I just don't feel that valuable. Daniel has told me that if I don't find someone, he will stop with his play partner and have me stay in the apartment during the week up there, and come home with him on weekends. Yes, I would see him more. But, I love my nest/shell/cocoon. It would be physically hard on me to do that as well. That apartment is kinda cold, and winter is damn near here. I do not want a substitute husband- I have the only husband I will ever want or need. I would like a good friend with benefits occasionally though.

So the best thing I knew to do is update my ad on That way, I'd be targeting like minds that weren't there just for sex. Let's see how it goes..updates to follow.


Lin said...


You are awesome. I have followed your blog for a long time now, and I envy your emotional security so much. What a fantastic relationship you have !
I wish I could be comfortable enough to cope with my husband having a playmate (or even just cope with the idea of sex outside marriage) but alas, I'm far too insecure :-)

You inspire me, and I check in on your blog every day.


zezrie said...

Thank you so much! I sometimes wishe I had more emotional securety than I have, lOL. Thank you so much for posting, an send me a person email if you like.

Anonymous said...

If only you weren't so far away! I love your blog and would love to hang out sometime. And if we were to end up in th sack, I agree. All well and good ;) Seriously though, good luck. Things will work out. I like th new look here!