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Wednesday, October 13, 2004

Rage

" Solar Plexus Chakra

Also known as: Power Center, Manipura

Location: Solar plexus

Color: Yellow

Parts of the Body: The parts of the body associated with this chakra include the muscular system, the skin as a system, the solar plexus, the large intestine, stomach, liver, and other organs and glands in the region of the solar plexus. Also the eyes, as the organs of sight, and the face, representing figuratively the face one shows the world.

Endocrine Gland: The pancreas

Sense: Eyesight

Consciousness: Parts of the consciousness associated with this chakra include perceptions concerned with power, control, freedom, the ease with which one is able to be themselves - ease of being. Mental activity and the mental body is also associated with this chakra. The solar plexus chakra is also associated with the level of being we call the personality, or ego.

The relationship a person has with fire, or the sun, can be seen to have its parallels in the person’s relationship with the parts of their consciousness that this chakra represents. Someone sensitive about the sun, then, can be seen to have particular sensitivities about power, or control, or freedom.

Element: Fire, the sun. "

--from the website http://www.healer.ch/solarplexuschakra.html --


It feels like a sick churning in the solar plexus, traveling under your stomach through to your back. Like the muscle is actually twisting your guts into macrame. This feeling is also normally accompanied by heart ache, impotence, anxiety, cold dread fear. All rapped up it makes one state of being: RAGE.

"Pronunciation: 'rAj
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, from Old French, from Late Latin rabia, from Latin rabies rage, madness, from rabere to be mad; akin to Sanskrit rabhas violence
1 a : violent and uncontrolled anger b : a fit of violent wrath c archaic : INSANITY
2 : violent action (as of wind or sea)
3 : an intense feeling : PASSION"

-- Merriam-Webster Online http://www.m-w.com/dictionary.htm --

LOL an intense feeling, to put it sweetly. And at this precise moment I am positively seething with it. Uncontrollable, inexplicable, implacable. I am being held by it like a steel wire corset. It has been building for days. I am so sick of the work I do, even if it does help people and gives me prestige. I am sick that I had to drop my sculpture class because I have no money, but a prissy job. My apartment looks like hell hit it, and I am too immobilized by strong emotion to deal with it. My senses are being bombarded. I am furious that I cannot deal with all these feelings at once because I have been so heavily medicated in the past few years I have lost my conditioning to deal with them properly..If I even had that ability to begin with. So my experiment with forcing my emotions to my will to change my physiology is not going well. I want another life, I am the one solely resposible for making this happen. When I go to make the first step to do this, I look down to see that my feet are bound. What (or for that matter who) the hell do I have to do to accomplish this? It is boiling down to the one thing I have been avoiding: strong magic.
it is the 13th of the month, on the night of a dark moon. It is time to talk with Hecate. I do not like disturbing the Mother unless the need is great..Now its dire. Hecate is stern but kind, exacting but loving. She will at least hear me.

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