Saturday, October 09, 2004

The movie of a lifetime

First, a definition that needs to be stated:
Epiphany:1) : a usually sudden manifestation or perception of the essential nature or meaning of something (2) : an intuitive grasp of reality through something (as an event) usually simple and striking (3) : an illuminating discovery b : a revealing scene or moment (

I haven't had an epiphany in a long time. I consider such a thing as a moment when all cylinders of the mind, soul, and universe fire at once. It is a moment where your whole life is turned upside down, which is where it is supposed to be in the first place. Stagnation melts away; infinite doors open. A new life beckons. I can only truly say this has happened three time in my life. The first was when I was 18 and learned what a witch really was. The second was when my husband took his last breath. The third was tonight. With a move, simple though it sounds. I had hear good reviews of " What the Bleep do We know". A movie about Quantum mechanics and metaphysics probably would not blow the skirt up of many people, but this movie is making waves. It came to the Kentucky Theatre, so I went to check it out. The opening scene stopped my breath. There was Portland Oregon. The Goose Hollow light rail stop, right before the tunnel to the zoo. My old neighborhood. The last normal, happy place in my marriage. There was my dentist office, right beside the little bar we went to. I know that city like the back of my hand. It proceeded to have the following first few scenes in every single place John and I had ever cherished. It was too big a coincidence. This movie had a message for me, with a sledgehammer's delicacy.
The premise is that a photographer, Amanda (Marlee Matlin), going though a existential funk from hell. She caught her husband fucking a chick he was flirting with at their wedding. She was unhappy in her career, and is popping anti ainxiety pills like M&Ms. Then things start to happen. She starts having what most people consider hallucinations. These visions turn her view of her reality upside down. Interspersed with her story, there are talks from several famous scientists and theologians of different faiths. This is part movie, part documentary.
The theory behind her visions is not easy to grasp in whole chunks. The message is that reality is not reality. The human mind in its infiniteness can change the reality around it. The body is affected by the pure power of the mind. Nothing is solid, nothing is finite. The concept of deity cannot be held by mere religion, it transcends it.
Now before you roll your eyes, listen. These people speaking aren't quacks: they are the preeminent scientists and thinkers of our time. At first, Amanda fights the visions. The she realizes that she has to learn, and opens up. A little boy in the movie, Reggie, asks her an important question, "How far down the rabbit hole do you want to go?" I am still falling.
This movie fell into my lap at a critical juncture. I am off my antidepressants, nothing. I am dissatisfied with my life. The message I got from this movie was clear: reality is what you make it, and only you are totally responsible for making reality suit you. I am going to stay off my meds for a while to test this theory. I am asking myself so many questions. Is the reason why I'm not at my potential because I have been medicated too long? Have I been living in fear of how infinite the choices are, and too afraid to open my eyes? My head is spinning from all the possibilities, all the things I could do.
Please, all who read this: GO SEE THIS MOVIE. It will change your life.


Clint said...

For me, an epiphany is a moment of perfect clarity, a rare moment in which I can see the world as it is and my place within it. It is a moment in which I can see exactly who an what I am, and exactly what I need to do in order to move forward.

I've had a few epiphanies in my life. My last occurred a little over a year ago, as I was sitting at my desk at my Messenger-Inquirer job, wasting time as I had a million days before because I had nothing else to do. My thoughts that day went in random directions, though, and step by step, I formulated my plan for departure. It all became clear in an instant, my move from Owensboro, my returm to school, my long-term goal. In the course of maybe 20 minutes, I figured out one of the most monumental changes of my life, and determined at that instant exactly what I would do. After that, everything was easy.

I wish I could think with that level of clarity all the time. Epiphanies come to me all too rarely. I need that clarity, lest I be unable to react.