The great experiment failed....

Well I had a meltdown at work on Friday, then went to a doctor's appointment. The great experiment has failed for right now. So I have to start retaking the meds. I don't feel guilty though. I think I went about it too quickly. I will continue to study quantum mechanics and cognitive theory, just on the safe side of antidepressants. I am now on an enforced vacation being lazy. I have decided to hit the mind over matter manner in a different direction. I am terrorfied of failure. The best way to deal is to put yourself in the spot that makes you scared. I'm going to paint this week and write, as painful as it may be. Just get it done is all I can do.