The tests, both of them

No, I didn't forget about the tests. For the first, I was there bright and early Saturday morning while the test moderators were trying to get their shit together. The test took about an hour, and it was BASIC. It was filing, simple math, phone etiquette and such. I should get some news about it and the job in the next week. You have to be in the top 5 scores to qualify, and unless I'm a COMPLETE moron, I did just fine.
As for the second test, we went to the hospital yesterday morning to have it done. A was running late with Kailey, so we took our sweet time at registration so she could catch up. The baby was a sweetie, until they took her back to get her test-those dumb asses took her blood from her arm like an adult (bastards). However, Kailey didn't cry for long, and we all went back to the apartment to eat lunch and romp with the baby till Daniel had to leave for work. It was one of the best visits we have had. We will have those results by Friday or next Monday.

The weekend

The party this weekend went extremely well! Despite the snow, we had roughly 45 people there. A lot of nudity, laughter, and friendship all around. We are starting to get a reputation for throwing good parties, so I hope we don't outgrow our party site. Daniel and I were both sick, but we both had a wonderful time.
Sunday was for recuperation, and we both needed it desperately. We watched the race (Daytona) while we passed the nebulizer back and forth to each other.

ARGHHHHH (cough, cough, sniffle)

I have:
A civil service exam on Saturday morning,
A party to prepare for and stay up with all night Saturday night,
A visit from Kailey on Sunday,
Another DNA test on Monday,
And a cleaning job on the house between now and Saturday...........

Why can't I get healthy!!!!!

Valentine's Day

I was feeling sorry for myself today because of the news of the baby and my ongoing health problems, and I barely realized it was Valentine's day. Then I stumbled across the Military Channel's Operation V-Day. This is dedicated to letting overseas servicemen and women send taped messages to their loved ones back home. Of course I grew teary-eyed until one serviceman in Iraq started his message with a quote from the Song of Solomon. By the end of his reading, I was sobbing. He read it with such passion, then dedicated it to his wife. That's all he said.

I cried because I was ashamed. Daniel has the flu too, and is working his ass off in the cold. I try to tell him a dozen times a day that I love him, but I never can tell him enough, or how deeply that love runs. Here is a guy from Iraq, facing death, taking the time to tell his wife over thousands of miles that he loves her, and using the passionate words of my favorite part of the Bible.

Baby, I want to tell you how much I love you every second of every day. The depth of my love for you is impossible to put into words. The memory of the first time I saw your face still makes my heart skip a beat. I adore every second you snore in my ear when we get to sleep together, and I love the way the house looks like a whirlwind hit after you are home a few days, because it shows YOU WERE HERE WITH ME! I hope there is never a day I take you for granted. In your honor, I found that quote from The Song of Solomon that soldier quoted, and have it here for you (http://etext.virginia.edu/etcbin/toccer-new2?id=KjvCant.sgm&images=images/modeng&data=/texts/english/modeng/parsed&tag=public&part=2&division=div1)

"The voice of my beloved! behold, he cometh leaping upon the mountains, skipping upon the hills.
My beloved is like a roe or a young hart: behold, he standeth behind our wall, he looketh forth at the windows, shewing himself through the lattice. My beloved spake, and said unto me, Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away.
For, lo, the winter is past, the rain is over and gone;
The flowers appear on the earth; the time of the singing of birds is come, and the voice of the turtle is heard in our land;
The fig tree putteth forth her green figs, and the vines with the tender grape give a good smell. Arise, my love, my fair one, and come away.
O my dove, that art in the clefts of the rock, in the secret places of the stairs, let me see thy countenance, let me hear thy voice; for sweet is thy voice, and thy countenance is comely.
Take us the foxes, the little foxes, that spoil the vines: for our vines have tender grapes.
My beloved is mine, and I am his: he feedeth among the lilies.
Until the day break, and the shadows flee away, turn, my beloved, and be thou like a roe or a young hart upon the mountains of Bether. "

I love you Daniel.

Lupercalia,

From the Pagan Institutes' Sacred Times, their pagan book of days (http://paganinstitute.org/PIR/sacred_times.html)

"February 14-21
Lupercalia, one of the oldest festivals of Roman religion, in honor of Juno-Lupa, the she-wolf who suckled Romulus and Remus. Two youths are swabbed on the forehead with wool dipped in milk. This was a festival of love. One feature was a lottery in which tokens (original valentine) with the names of single women were drawn by young men. The couples were companions for the week's festivities."
This is just a bit of alternative history today's pseudo-Christian holiday.

The news...

Well I was right, the truth hurt worse than I can ever imagine. The DNA test results came back negative. According to this test, Kailey is not Daniel's. We have decided to have another test, this time blood work, as a second opinion. Then, if the second test is negative, we have to make a painful decision: does Daniel choose to be a daddy to this child who I think desperately needs us, or or chose to be Uncle Daniel? We don't know yet.

My chest is still rattling, but I think the Cipro is clearing it up. I still have a touch of the flu, and my mouth is covered with cold sores. I'm going to look lovely for this weekends party. The way I feel emotionally and physically at this moment, I'm kinda apathetic about the party.

Next weekends gonna be interesting...

I got an interesting little letter in the mail Saturday. It was an invitation to take the KY state civil exam next Saturday at 8:00 AM. I had applied for a fairly well paid state job, but didn't think I'd be qualified for it. So, the day of the party, I have to be at Pikeville HS at 8Am to take this test. Only the top 5 scores get considered. After the test we have to get ready for the party that night, the party itself, and a visit from the baby on Sunday. YeeHa!!!

ATTENTION TO FRIENDS!!!!

Robert,

We are scared to death about you an P. I have called 3-4 times this week and left messages each time. We can never seem to catch either of you online. Did we do something to anger or upset you? Either one of us? We both miss you terribly, and wonder what could have happened to make you two withdraw from us. If we made you mad, at least give us a "Fuck You", so that we know that nothing is physically wrong. I know you read the blog as late as 3 days ago. Please, please get in touch with Daniel or myself.

Tabitha

Stand by for a cough filled primal scream!!

In some way I think I have pissed of the health gods. I started coughing the first week of December, after the Xmas party. It started as laryngitis, and turned into a cough. So I coughed the whole month of December, ending up in the emergency room on Xmas night because I coughed so hard I thought I had broken my rib. Luckily or unluckily for me, I had a pulled intercostal (sp?) muscle. So through January, I held my side as i coughed until it healed. The amount of coughing would ease up for a day or two, then flare right back up.
Today's date is Feb. 9. I am on Advair, Singulair, and an emergency Albuterol inhaler. As soon as I get my nebulizer in the mail, I will add Xopenex (levalbuterol HCL) to the mix. Yes I have been diagnosed with Asthma. No, I don't have COPD since I have never personally smoked. What I do have is a body shaking, rasping cough that wont go away as much as I bitch about it.

Playstation withdrawl

The Evil Enticer that is my husband got me turned onto video game RolePlayingGames a few months ago. I fell in love with RPG's all over again, hearkening me back to my youth when I geeked out with my friends and played D&D. A good RPG is like a good book: you can loose yourself inside it, and sink away from the life more ordinary.
I had just about beaten Final Fantasy X-2, and was preparing myself for Kingdom Hearts II when the PlayStation 2 started having a disc read error. This is akin to the blue screen of death for computers, either way it doesn't bode well. So for the second time, Daniel took it apart to clean it. It probably would have been kinder to take it out back and shoot it. The PS2 is certifiably dead.
Daniel has the Gamecube with him in WV, so he can play Zelda Twilight Princess (oh I shall play that game sooner or later hehehehe). Thus I am left bereft of a gaming console. You would think a 35 year old would have more dignity and not worry about not playing her games, but Ive' always been the kind of girl whom would rather be happy than dignified.

Things that are no big surprise, the death of Anna Nicole

Apparently, Anna Nicole Smith finally went too far down the TrimSpa/Cocaine/booze road and died today at the age of 39 in Florida. I always had mixed feelings about her. On one hand, we have a talentless golddigger who was famous for being famous. On the other hand, you have a small town girl with no education, who was ambitious enough to use the only thing she had to get her and her son to a better life. In her place, I might have done the same thing if I had half her looks.

The last few months of her life actually was like a very creepy Greek Tragedy being played out in front of the press. It sort of makes sense she died they way she did. Every good Shakespearean tragic play ends with everyone but the dog dying. She was annoying yet fascinating, a dumb blond who was surprisingly shrewd, and a party girl that, from all accounts, was a decent mother. That's the truest part of the tragedy right there: she leaves behind a 5 month old baby whose custody will be fought over for years by two of Anna's opposing lovers.

Some in the media have been comparing her to Marilyn Monroe. I actually saw her more as an anti-Paris Hilton. Both famous for nothing, and beautiful enough to get away with it...for awhile.

LYRICS ALERT!!!! In honor of the weather

"Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow"
Lyricist Sammy Cahn and composer Jule Styne-1945.

Oh the weather outside is frightful
But the fire is so delightful
And since we've no place to go
Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!

It doesn't show signsof stopping
And I've bought some corn for popping
The lights are turned way down low
Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!

When we finally kiss goodnight
How I'll hate going out in the storm!
But if you'll really hold me tight
All the way home I'll be warm

The fire is slowly dying
And, my dear, we're still goodbying
But as long as you love me so
Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow

The truth will not set us free

We finally got the DNA Test performed and sent in. We did the cheek swabbing on Saturday, and Kailey was a champ. She made a face because it tickled, but she didn't get upset at all. LOL I think it was a scam, since the look she gave me when Daniel gave her her gift was priceless (see pic above). I think shes learned the lesson of "Im a girl and can con anybody".

We got all the paperwork done and sent in today. We should know by Friday or next Monday the results. Stay tuned

The moods I get into when Im in pain....

LOL I've been trying to clean my house before this weekends visit from the Youngling and her mom, and I'm in a lot of pain from the fibro. Moving, bending, sitting upright, are not that fun to do right now. So I started daydreaming...

About having a human House Elf, a extremely submissive man, or woman for that matter, that would be a domestic slave. Someone who got an erotic thrill from cleaning my house and doing my errands. I would be totally free to pursue my art, or totally rest if I needed to. lol Any takers?

I'm going to get you my Pretty..and your cold too!!

I really have no intention of turning this into a mommy blog. You know mommy blogs: incessant blogging about diapers, breast feeding, and how their particular chick is more spectacular than any body's. One day, I might morph into that when I hatch my own young, but until then, I will try not to bore you with posts about Kailey, my step-Imp.

We got to see her this weekend at her maternal grandmothers house, and meet various in-laws, outlaws, and Kailey's mother's boyfriend. He and Daniel were cordial if not best buddies, and I hope his (Mike the BF) worries about us has been put to rest. Kailey was Kailey: she knew that All were

her abject slaves, and Daniel and I are no different. She points, and 4 people jump to fetch. She is getting more comfortable with Daniel, which was sweet to see.

The only snag in this situation is the DNA test. We are set to do it this weekend if we get the test kit on time, and our friend Edie is set to be the "impartial third party" that performs the various and sundry things that DNA tests require. I believe she is his: she looks like him and has many physical traits that are genetic that points to that conclusion. What we haven't figured out is what we do if she's not Daniel's. We have been warned not to fall in love with this baby until we knew for sure, but alas, it's too late, and I knew it would be.

Oh as for the title of this entry. The little Imp gave me her cold, so I will have to kiss her face off for that :P

Planning the next party..

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

One extreme to another...the first day of the Gazelle

I climbed on to the machine buck ass naked. It struck me as a very ancient Olympics thing to do. Grabbing the handles, I reminded myself that I have completed 2 5K runs, and I used to run 20 miles a week. I felt strong; I felt good....
5 Minutes later my naked ass was on the floor gasping for breath while every muscle in my body body burned. The memories of athletic glory dripped away with the sweat. I didn't have to remind myself that I was at the beginner stage all over again, my heaving, asthmatic lungs reminded of that fact pretty quickly. At the first I was hearing Strauss' Also Sprach Zarathustra (2001 A Space Odyssey) soaring over me....
The end sounded more like Yakety Sax (Benny Hill).

Meeting Kailey

As you can see, the first meeting between me and Kailey went reasonably well. Her mother brought her to the apartment, with her Auntie, this past Saturday. She did what babies do: she tried to get her daddy to lift her up so she could get ahold of the hanging lamp, she used the popcorn tin as a bongo, and tried to climb into the TV when The Backyardigans came on. She didn't really let me hold her, but did let Daniel hold her a bit longer. We are still strangers to her, but won't be for long.

The last picture of her asleep is the special one. She's sleeping on the magical Purple Fuzzy Binky. I blessed this blanket in Key West, and my late husband John gave it it's name. I put a special spell of healing and protection on it, to comfort someone I loved into sleeping well. It's good to see the magic is still working.

Ski Machines and the State of the Union

I decided I would multitask during Monkeyboy's ( Our President's) yearly exercise in futility, The State of the Union address, and put together my Gazelle Elite at the same time. It seemed a logical idea, and at least something constructive would come from the otherwise wasted time. With power drill and wrench in hand, I was piecing the Gazelle together while I listened to Dorks the Clown go on and on about the war in Iraq being about terrorism, that this time his plan would work in Iraq, yada yada. Then the epiphany came.
Using a Gazelle is essentially cross country skiing to nowhere: you get on, you act like you are skiing for 30 minutes, you get off. Nothing is accomplished except making your heart rate go up for a certain amount of time. You don't really enjoy it, but know in the long run, you will feel better. The State of the Union speech is the same thing; you act like you are getting somewhere by listening, your heart rate goes up (usually in anger or derisive laughter), the speech ends. You really didn't enjoy it, but know that you will feel better in the long run because this Fucktard will be out of office soon. I like the analogy.

The way things are

There were things I wanted to do today

I wanted to call mom

get 1000$

fly to Key West

and never come back.

But I wont

I cant

I love you too much

you are my life's blood

the oxygen in my lungs

how could even think

I could I leave my soul...

We have a baby to raise :D