Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Ski Machines and the State of the Union

I decided I would multitask during Monkeyboy's ( Our President's) yearly exercise in futility, The State of the Union address, and put together my Gazelle Elite at the same time. It seemed a logical idea, and at least something constructive would come from the otherwise wasted time. With power drill and wrench in hand, I was piecing the Gazelle together while I listened to Dorks the Clown go on and on about the war in Iraq being about terrorism, that this time his plan would work in Iraq, yada yada. Then the epiphany came.
Using a Gazelle is essentially cross country skiing to nowhere: you get on, you act like you are skiing for 30 minutes, you get off. Nothing is accomplished except making your heart rate go up for a certain amount of time. You don't really enjoy it, but know in the long run, you will feel better. The State of the Union speech is the same thing; you act like you are getting somewhere by listening, your heart rate goes up (usually in anger or derisive laughter), the speech ends. You really didn't enjoy it, but know that you will feel better in the long run because this Fucktard will be out of office soon. I like the analogy.