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Friday, December 03, 2004

Biological clocks suck.

Lexington has a water problem, and it has nothing to do with ownership of the company. Today at the KY Clinic, as far as the eye could see, were babies. I'm not talking about annoying toddlers....But dozens of babies under the age of one, like I love them. Thus my conclusion was that pregnancy was in the water sometime last Feb, and somehow I didn't drink. The biological clock fired up, starting at a soft wrist watch tick to a screaming Big Ben Level blast. It drives me nuts too. At this particular place in time, there is not a man in my life I would even contemplate having a child with. Yet, there all the babies were perfect and sweet and loving. I am fully aware I cant even take care of myself properly, let alone another life. The yearning is still there...
For some crazed reason, I want to have a child the old fashioned way--with a husband. I grew up with a single mother, and saw how hard it was on her everyday to keep us afloat. And we were brats that didn't make it easier. I want to go through the experience of getting pregnant with a man who adores me, who wants a child as badly as I do. I want a child that is the reflection of love two people have with each other. This man has to be as excited with every step of the process. Now I know that it is possible that this might happen. Whether this is probable I rather much doubt. I'm 33, and yes I know there are stupid women popping out babies at 57. Not this girl. I wont have a child after 40. So that leaves me 7 years. Yes its possible.....
I will say this: I wont feel incomplete without a baby. Disappointed but not incomplete.

1 comments:

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