Thursday, September 07, 2006

Primetime special on Swinging

I watched the special Primetime had on ABC about swinging. John Stossel is a good reporter, but his methods of asking the questions, condescending and judgemental, annoyed me. Yes, he asked the normal questions about swinging in a manner any outsider would ask them. Yet, there was so much that was left unsaid. They didn't mention that this lifestyle is normally more about having a group of friends in the lifestyle that you happen to play with, than it is being on the prowl for new strangers to fuck. I happen to LOATHE first time encounters with new people. Daniel and I see it as having a committed circle of friends-with-benefits. These same friends did as much to help us set up for our wedding as family did. And that's how we see them: as family.

As for the couples' therapists that saw swinging as damaging to a marriage, I have this to say: I consider trust to be the biggest part of my marriage. I have had previous relationships ruined by cheating. I would rather be open with the fact that we are both human and attracted to other people, than feeling the need to lie to ourselves and cheat.
One person cannot be all things to their spouse. Its a matter of respect that we give each other the freedom to grow.

The one thing I am glad Primetime showed is that all Swingers are NOT model types. Swingers come from all walks of life, in all shapes, sizes, and socio-economic levels. The couples they interviewed were respectable, fully contributing members of society. Not every body type appeals to all people, and The Lifestyle has all kinds.

I believe that Swingers have a more progressive life view than others. We realize that monogamy does not work to keep marriages solvent most times. The fact that more couples, otherwise known as "normal" to the outside world, are realizing this and opening up their relationships is a positive thing. Primetime was a good first step, but the media needs more positive programming to show this.