Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Coffee, croussant, and my uncle.

I am sitting here rested after getting up at 7am, instead of getting ready for bed. My parents made a rare 2 night stay to go see my uncle in Kingsport, TN, for quintuple bypass surgery. Bud has been one of the few stationary male members of my family; he and my maternal aunt Marilyn have been married since 1967. It was so hard to watch Marilyn yesterday, seeing her worry beside the bed of a husband she has had 39 years. I have sat that watch myself, and it hurt to watch. I couldn't even bring myself to go into ICU to see him with his ventilator and wires everywhere. Too many bad memories.

More bad memories to ponder on the drive home to Pikeville. My mother and I discussed her parenting skills, or lack of them ( in her opinion!!!). What had brought up the conversation was watching my cousin Dawn with her two little boys, ages 3 and 18 months. The boys were tired, hungry, cranky, whiny, and both threw a fit at the end of the evening. Dawn, who is also 7 months pregnant with her third boy, showed stress but never lost her composure. The discussion in the car on the way home went from me doubting my ability to be a parent to 3 children under the age of 5, to my mother's parenting skills. She had so many regrets, and she shouldn't have. It was not her fault my dad was a low life scum who wasn't man enough to help raise the children he fathered. She did what any single mother does: she did the best she could with what she had. Yes my sister and I have issues from childhood, but they are issues she in no way made worse from her parenting. She raised 2 daughters who got really good grades (my sister was 3rd in her class, I was in the top 10%), didn't get pregnant, and went on to live decent lives. You can't do better as a parent that turn out functional members of society. I hope and pray when and if my time comes to carry on the gene pool I can do as well.

As for my uncle, at 8am this morning, had been removed from the respirator, has sat up, and has done a short walk. His prognosis is excellent..Thank the Goddess.