I feel pretty? I don't think so...

I actually feel like I look like utter shit. I have become a noodle since I quit working a typical job. I should be out walking, learning my surroundings. I am not. It seems that I have completely caved into my agoraphobia. I simply do not want to leave the house, not even to check the mail ( I check it about every other day). My little inner Crab is delighting in the supreme feeling of safety. I am gaining weight, but can't seem to summon the energy to move. I have caved into the chronic fatigue, because I have no driving reason,that my survival depends on, to make me leave this apartment. My mind, however, is screaming for company. Everyday I wait for IMs, so I can connect with people. I should have this house ready for me to start painting, but I am behind. I feel defeated.