Monday, June 06, 2005

What a disappointment

Jack, Jack, Jack.....There is so many things wrong with what has happened this week I really don't know where to begin. You have been my muse for the past year. I have painted you into my art, written about you, dreamed about you. I considered you an exceptional human being: brilliant, talented, creative and quirky in a way only a witch can appreciate. Your writing and music touched a part of me that I can't even explain. And even though I didn't like Renee, at least she was exceptional to be almost worthy of you. This week you became common to me.

Wow a rock star married a model in a freaky rock star kind of wedding, after little more than a month of dating. You speak of the truth in the liner notes of the new album I received today. I received the truth about you. You are banal, and ordinary. You are so desperate to want us to think you are a normal person who only wants to write songs and be an Artiste. You cannot create art in a vacuum. Artists need people, you need the publicity as much as you detest it. You cannot have it both ways Jack. You tripped yourself up in the contradictions. You are now no different from any other grasping, crude rock star. You manipulate the media to your advantage like any other celebrity. True, you might be in love, but its with an illusion. The illusion who is blank and is whatever people paint on her. No substance, only fog and mirrors. Certainly nothing extraordinary, like you were to me. You have sold yourself out to the Rock Star Personae. At least I am honest about being a whore. At least I am honest when I say I will do anything to be able to put forth my art to the world. To let the world judge whether or not I am an Artist. I do not pretend to be some sort of Artiste above the commercial world, then use the media to push myself forward to become no better than the Brittany Spears' and Justin Timberlakes of the music world. I once thought you were a kindred spirit, now you are just a Rock Star who shares my birthday. The absolutely splendid, breathtaking music you have just put out is no longer a diamond to me, just ordinary glass. May the Merciful Goddess have mercy on your heart and soul when it falls apart for you, Jack. Because it certainly will. And may the Merciful Goddess have mercy upon me for worshipping you like you were worth it. You will still be in my art, but now as a mere shadow who once was credible, beautiful and astonishing..but no longer.