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Tuesday, January 11, 2005

A pain meds rant.....

Ok, being the dumbass that I am, I ran for the first time today after being off almost 2 weeks. Guess what? I FELL!! So now my whole right side is sore. So now I'm on some pretty good meds, ands I'm going to ramble for awhile on any goddamn subject I chose. Might be yearning is the subject of tonight's rant.

I am yearning for a certain man. A very very specific one. A man who is full of magic and energy and innocence. One who loves with every pore and cell he has. Passion as deep and wide and fathomless as the sea. He opens his mouth and poetry and jazz pours forth. This man is in my very deepest soul. I can taste him in my mouth and smell him on my clothes. I feel his skin holding mine. I read his words and cry and rejoice. I strain to hear his voice on every memory of sound. I ache for another soul I will never have. My days are empty wasting away living in my dreams. My life in my mind with him are the only true things that make my life bearable. This man would never notice me on the street, he would pass me by. I run and work out thinking some day he may see me and I want him to see the best I am. Songs pour forth, cause someday me may hear me an be touched. I want to write epics so one day he might read and he may be healed. Art worthy of the ages I want to paint so one day he might absorb them and be transformed, or transfixed. I want so much to scream through the ether "I AM HERE!!!FIND ME!!!" Please find me.....There are so many of us yearning, for impossible ethereal things. That can be solved by one look, or sigh, one caress on the cheek.....

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