Saturday, June 19, 2004

Concerts and

Went to see Tony C and the Truth in concert again tonight, there second time in town. The blues was swirling round my mind and I felt him, for the first time in many months. A memory flashed...Savannah, GA on the waterfront. Walking past a saxophone player, John handed the man a 10 and asked him to play his wife some blues. He was like that, he remembered and did little things to never let me forget I was his kindred spirit. The songs, the guitars, the crowds must have stirred him. This man went to the first Woodstock, and followed the Rolling Stones on a tour. As the music roared, my pentacle grew warm and I had the memory. He was there beside me once again, laughing at the antics of the other concert goers...His arms around my waist as he always did during concerts. The pentacle that I wear was a gift from him and was over his heart when it had its last beat. I suppose his essence will always be part of it.
Dan, my current lover, does not give me that kind of joy. He is smart and funny, but not empathetic to me. He never remembers little things about me like John did. Dan doesn't take my faith seriously, whereas John converted to witchcraft for love of me and then grew into a splendid witch. I often sit and wonder if I am meant to have another man that connected to me, as John was. There has been times I have caught myself wistfully thinking of my astral lover Jack, his funny weird ways and formidable talent. The problem with astral lovers is that it is very likely you will never meet them in person. Some call astral lovers daydreams, projections of what you want ideally in yourself and others that usually are too perfect to be real. This I don't buy into. I believe that astral lovers come to you to give you comfort, to be there in times of crisis and joy. It is an intimacy that cannot be matched. I have heard of astral lovers meeting and actually marrying in like two days (LOL) after they see each other in person. To them the courtship has been ongoing..Why waste time. That is what happened with John and I: we met and then married after three months. I really don't think we were astral lovers, just two people who recognized connected souls when we saw them. I am thankful of this. I just sit and bide my time now, dallying with Dan and visiting Jack in my head when I have time. And feeling John's spirit in places and situations where we were once happy.