In Remembrance

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If you notice the site looking freaky, it's because I am working on it.
Z

Final Respect

This week the Veterans Administration has settled a lawsuit from 11 Wiccan families to allow the Wiccan pentacle to be placed on soldier's gravestones, either at any federal military cemetery, or private ones. Seeing as they allow 37 other religious symbols to be used, it is long overdue that the government allow pentacles. Wicca is one of the fastest growing religions in the country, and has been recognised by the military establishment for over two decades. Hopefully, this is just one more step in a direction where witches will no longer be pariahs, and where people of any faith can live in America without being disrespected in life because of the symbol they wear around their neck, or in death after honorable military service. If the soldier dies defending the constitution that allows freedom of religion, thats same soldier should have earned the right to have the pentacle on their gravestone.

Typical (for me) Monday

Daniel has left for another week, and I was supposed to go with him. However, after being home from the hospital for 1 day, my grandfather is back in the hospital with a possible stroke in Three Rivers Hospital. This time, it was so serious my mom and sister both took the day off work to go on a 3 hour drive to be with him. I am 2 hours away, and do not have a way there, and it would be a waste of time to be there. Daniel offered to stay home from work, but a bunch of people hovering over him would not help him. My grandmother is trying to get him transferred to Kings Daughter's hospital.

Offensive Friday...an ongoing series..Unicorns and Swinging

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The FAT RANT....A MUST SEE!!!

First, watch this:



I am fat woman. I weigh 275 (19 stone for the Brits). Even when I was a runner I never weighed less than 225. I have been beating the shit out of myself for my size. I have plenty of friends, and I am married to a very hot man. I used to have men pay me for sex, and I was sure as hell not a size 2. I am never short of partners at swing parties, many of them extremely attractive. I want to thank Joy Nash for preaching the gospel.

Do I seem this [insert adjective]..?

Daniel was talking to a friend at this weekend's aforementioned party who is a long time reader of this poor excuse for a blog. Our friend told Daniel that, from what he read in the blog, that I seemed trapped and miserable (MY INTERPRETATION OF WHAT WAS SAID).

I don't consider myself that at all. I do suffer from depression, but it's the chronic kind that I have had for most of my life. It's pretty well medicated, but there are a few hormonal or fibromyalgia induced misery days where I bitch about nothing in particular. Yes, I am alone a lot. Yes, I don't drive and don't go to a lot of places. Of course I get lonely. But, would I trade all this to go back to my previous life in Lexington where I was living a dangerous life on the edge that made me feel empty and used? Hell no. I chose to join my life to Daniel's, and I don't regret a thing. Besides, I'm getting a bicycle this weekend, the weather has warmed up, and I can get out and volunteer or get a part time job somewhere. All is well.

This weekends party

Our swing party this weekend went well, despite the deluge of rain and changing rooms. We only had three noise complaints. About 30 people showed up, more or less. The only real problems was an unwanted single guy showing up and a couple with jealousy issues. Otherwise a good party.

Virginia Tech

From the post "Itchy and Scratchy Show" on Wednesday, February 21, 2007:

"I'm doing a special post today from the lovely campus of Virginia Tech Vet School......This campus is gorgeous. Quite a few new buildings due to the football fetish here. its very clean and safe. Its nice but makes me miss UK. "

It only takes one nut job to destroy the whole illusion of safety. I've been reading on how so many of the shooter's professors read his extremely violent writings, complained to colleagues, but did nothing further. VA Tech is a science school, with a small English department. One would think if the entire department knew about this kid, SOMEONE would go to the administration. But. like everyone else, I can second guess till the cows come home and it wont bring back 32 people.

Blacksburg is a wonderful place that Daniel and I were considering going to on the 28th for a swing meet and greet. It is sad that one person has torn it apart. So much for the old saying that one person cannot make a difference, for good or bad.

Imus..Offensive Thursday

I got an email from NOW (National Organization for Women), a few days ago asking me to join a letter writing campaign calling for the firing of Don Imus for his now infamous "Nappy Haired Ho's" comment about the Rutgers women's basketball team. I read the email, paused to reflect a moment, and deleted the email. Why? Wasn't I offended? The comment was in bad taste, but if you listen to Imus you come to expect tactlessness. Ultimately, you want to know why I deleted the email? Because, I'm also a member of the American Civil Liberties Union.

This is America people. Ever read the First Amendment? Let me quote it verbatim for you:
"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances. "
If Imus wants to make himself look like a heel on the public airwaves, he has that right. If the KKK wants to march through a town where they aren't wanted to prove how backwards and stupid they truly are, then they have that right too. The only time that speech isn't free is when what you say can actually cause physical harm ( Schenck v United States (1919), http://www.socialstudieshelp.com/CourtCases.htm). Blacks call themselves niggas and hos all the time, and whites call themselves honkys and crackers. Using the slang of another race to describe that said race looks and sounds stupid, but is protected free speech. If members of other races do not like outsiders using their slang to describe them, the quit calling themselves that. George Carlin says that its not what you say, but the manner in which it is said, that really matters. I happen to agree.

Daniel update

I almost forgot to update you on the Daniel and military deal. I found out through many, many hours of online research ( I'm proud of my research reputation:)) that he would not be able to go through the paperwork road to go back to the Navy. We looked into the change of discharge angle, but, you have to prove that there was a procedural error before they will overturn the discharge. Then I heard about the Clemency program, where you tell the military courts that you have reformed and get a administrative discharge instead of a punitive one. Alas, I found out that you have to be less than 3 years past the discharge to go that route, and Daniel has been out 8.

So, I finally get a honest-to-god Navy recruiter on the horn. He proceeds to tell me there is a possible way for Daniel to go back into the Navy: by joining the National Guard. Apparently, there is a 1 year program the National Guard offers where one goes in for a year's duty, gets discharged honorably, which cancels out the bad conduct discharge, and then the Navy would take him back no questions asked. What about him being 35 when he gets ready to go back to the Navy? No problem, the recruiter says. So I leave a message with the National Guard recruiter in Hazard to call me back with the details.

A very nice guy returned my calls. He confirmed that yes, Daniel would be enlisted for 1 year in the National Guard, and would not have to go to boot camp OR be deployed overseas. Also, there is a NG unit being formed in Pikeville, a construction unit, where Daniel would only be working a bulldozer one weekend a month and 2 weeks this summer. The only two problems I could foresee is that; one, the next day for the entry physical is May 19 (ROCKERS!!!), and two, him passing the physical. Please, he doesn't weigh 400 lbs ( you'd swear it by listening to him talk about it lol), but he is a little out of shape.

This is all up to Daniel now. He needs to think deeply about whether hes willing (hes more than able) to do what it takes to get back into the Navy. I love him more than life itself, and will support him in whatever he wants to do.

Grandfather news

There has been no dramatic change in my grandfather, except that he is getting slowly weaker. Hopefully we will see him on Sunday.

Papaw

My grandfather is dying. Existentially, we all are, but in his case its literal. He is 86 years old, and has been hospitalized numerous times for heart, kidney and diabetes problems. This past weekend his oxygen levels went low, so he was hospitalized. The doctor says in order for him to survive, he needs dialysis. For the second time, he has categorically refused. My grandmother says, as of this morning, he is getting weaker.

My role in this extended family has always been Devil's Advocate. This time is no different. For once, I had to side with the cantankerous old fart on this one. I wouldn't wish dialysis on my worst enemy, after seeing what John went through his last week with it. My grandfather might be a curmudgeon, but he is still of sound mind, if not body. If he doesn't want to do it, then he shouldn't. I have been trying to gently remind family members who are listening that dialysis would do no good anyway. He has let himself go far too long. He has made his bed health-wise, now its just a matter of time until he has his final rest in it.

I have always believed that it is very hard to grieve the death of an elderly person. They have had a full life, hopefully with few regrets. Will I grieve when my grandfather passes away? No, not for the man, but I will grieve for my grandmother, who will be alone for the first time in 59 years. I will grieve the lost lessons he could have taught me. I will morn the loss of the typical grandfather-granddaughter relationship I would have loved but he could not be bothered to have. Even if I could go to the hospital right now and offer my hand to him to try save our relationship, he would not accept it. So once again I will sit and wait it out with the rest of the family, and keep my thoughts to myself.

Offensive Friday...an ongoing series..

Marijuana and prostitution should be legal and taxed like alcohol. There should be no prosecution of victimless crime in this country. And yes both statements go together. Using drugs other than pot does have victims, the people that the dope fiends steal from to get it. The only victim of a marijuana user is the box of Twinkies they devour on the couch. Pot users sleep, eat, and bother no one.
As for prostitution, it is also a victimless crime, no matter what other feminists say. And I know, I was a Escort (prostitute). Did I victimize any of my clients? No. They paid me for my company, and I gave it to them. The street pros who are doing it for drug money, they are more victims of hard drugs than prostitution.

I'm a big fraidycat

I am a complete pussy. I am terrified of dentists. The reason why? I was traumatised. At 17 my wisdom teeth impacted. During the surgery to get them out, they found out I come out of general anesthesia too quickly. I felt the last wisdom tooth come out of my jaw. Somewhere I kicked a pair of flip flops across the room. My mother heard me screaming in the waiting room. The doctor acted like a jackass, saying I was a "bad patient". Then the nurse started taping my hand and said " Honey, can you FEEL THIS?!"
My mother was told the reason I was sobbing in the recovery room was that teenage girls react badly to the Valium thats given. I couldn't even tell my mom what had happened for 3 days until the swelling had gone down enough for me to speak.
So, 18 years later, I am still terrified of dentists. I have been to the dentist over the years to greater or lesser results. It took me 10 years after the trauma to go. Now its more about new dentists that frighten me. So, after waking up too early and having an anxiety attack, I cancelled my appointment. Sue me.

"So Much So Fast"

I was up till 4am watching Frontline on PBS. The documentary "So Much So Fast" was on and I couldn't miss it. It was about Steven Heyward and his battle with ALS (Lou Gehrig's Disease), a devastating, and ultimately, fatal disease. It brought up a lot of care giving memories for me, but in a good way.

Many of my long time readers will remember me talking about one of my favorite bloggers Brainhell (http://brainhell.blogspot.com/), who has been battling ALS since 2003. The ALS has progressed in him to the point where it will be difficult for him to keep blogging. Please, go to his site if you want to see an example of true grace and dignity under pressure.

The main part of the show was about the foundation that Steven Heyward's
brother's started, ALS Therapy Development Foundation. The foundation has gotten quite the reputation as being gonzo, because they want to skip all the (to them) unnecessary steps required by the FDA to get a medicine approved, and get the meds straight to the patients as soon as possible. The medical establishment feels they are reckless; I feel that they are on target. The ALSTDF want to take meds already approved for other illnesses that show promise for ALS and get them into trials as soon as possible. I know for a fact that's not a bad idea, since my husband John took Gleevec, not approved for ALL (leukemia), and it kept him alive for a YEAR he would not have had otherwise.
If you would like to check out the website for ALSTDF, it is http://www.als.net/aboutus/default.asp.