Sign the Pledge!!! G4 - Attack of the Show

I was watching Attack of the Show a few weeks ago, and came across this wonderful tidbit. Apparently Valentine's Day has been morphed into
The Day of Purity. The Day of Purity was started three years ago by the Liberty Counsel, a Christian law firm in Orlando, Fla, to try to keep teenagers from having sex before a 'biblically correct [paraphrase]' marriage. AOTS came up with its own pledge, The Promiscuity Pledge, from the The Society for the Liberation of Undone Trousers (S.L.U.T). Here it is, in its entirety,

"We hereby pledge to be promiscuous; to do anyone and anything at any time; to march boldly into the whorehouses of the world and joyously dance the horizontal mambo. To “spread the love,” in the dirtiest way, and to have enough sex during our formative years to ensure we know what we’re doing if we ever get married.

We do it for humanity. We do it for freedom. We do it because we love doin’ it. And we do it for our friends, who will think we are totally cool.
This we pledge."

I would like to invite all who read this to pledge the more realistic pledge.....Viva S.L.U.T!!!!!!