Monday, April 04, 2005

Some thoughts

Wikipedia( a interesting definition of the word "Hierodule"

"In ancient Greece and Anatolia a hierodule, from Greek hiero- "holy" and doule "female slave", was a temple slave in the service of a specific deity, often with the connotation of religious prostitution. The priestesses of Inanna were known to be hierodules.
Among some neopagans, a hierodule may be a priestess who has sex in the role of whichever Goddess she serves in the divine union of hieros gamos."

My buddies at Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary are, as always, more direct:
"Main Entry: hi·ero·dule
Pronunciation: 'hI-(&-)rO-"dü(&)l, hI-'er-&-, -"dyü(&)l
Function: noun
Etymology: Late Latin hierodulus, from Greek hierodoulos, from hieron temple + doulos slave
: a slave or prostitute in the service of a temple (as in ancient Greece)"

I have been ruminating on this word for two weeks, as I have taken to being an escort. I will categorically state that I have no shame in what I am doing. I have met men that I would never EVER meet anywhere else. All of them (so far) have been educated, successful, intelligent men. I have been feted, complemented, and showered with attention. Once I was compared to a Renaissance painting (Ruebens naturally LOL) and called every variation of beautiful. Trust me, this is healing the inner Ugly Teenager that has been rampaging for several years. Far from feeling badly, I'm trying to figure out how to do this as my sole method of bread winning and painting in my spare time. Then as I was reading on the net and the word hierodule popped out. Is this what I am, or was at some point. I feel a spiritual communion during the act of sex. Love will always be the most essential ingredient to making sex perfect. But, this is satisfying a deep spiritual need as well as financial one. And, I seem to be very good at it. So where will this go? I don't know yet. I do know that this has opened a door into my psyche that wont close anytime soon.


Outburst said...

Out of curiousity, have you given much thought to the future or how long you'll be living this way? Or do you plan on living in the moment for the time being and let it play out as it will?

Unknown said...

While you're doing escort, you should also look into practicing tantra with a close mate. Sexuality combined with spirituality can often offset some of the cheap tawdryness of the sex trade. i know women in the trade who don't feel nothing when having sex - even with a loved one. Be close with your sexuality - who you are, and be close to your spirtuality as well - you are a goddess, and i hope these gentlemen know what they are getting!!
The universe speaks through your yoni. Do you have someone who will listen??