Red Tape Rodeo..yeehaw!

My husband Daniel had a very colorful misspent youth. While he was in the Navy, he met his first wife N (or cunt, as I like to call her). She was (and still is, we aren't sure) a heroin addict. So, in able to try to "understand her better" Daniel let her shoot him up the first time. The rest you can guess. He descended into a hellish addiction to both coke and heroin that took him years to beat and cost him his military career, and damn near his life.

He was released from the Navy with a Bad Conduct discharge (he served 4 years, got an honorable discharge, then reenlisted) because of it. Daniel has been clean 8 years. Besides a speeding ticket, he hasn't been in trouble since. He has decided he wants to try to get the discharged changed to Honorable so he can go back into the Navy before he's too old. We have until November, his 35th birthday, to get it done, or he just goes into the Navy Reserves. So, we have begun the red tape rigmarole to get it changed. We are trying to get all the paperwork sent to DC by Good Friday, April 7. Since the website said it would take up to 6 months to do it, we hope at the latest there will be a decision by by October, that will give him time to reenlist if we can get it changed.

What do I think about all of this? Well, seeing that no less than 14 Navy Corpsman have died in Iraq since it all began has me justifiably uneasy ( Daniel was a Navy corpsman with the Marines). But this is not about me, its about him. He wants to make things right, and finish his duty honorably. And what does one do when they see their soul mate wanting something more than life itself? You help them get it.

Offensive Friday...an ongoing series..

First, from an article from Yahoo:

"JENNIFER LOVEN, Associated Press Writer

WASHINGTON - President Bush apologized Friday for the shoddy conditions at Walter Reed Army Medical Center and promised during a visit to the facility for war veterans that "we're going to fix the problem."
Critics questioned the timing of Bush's visit six weeks after poor conditions and neglect of veterans were exposed there.
Bush toured the main hospital and Abrams Hall, where soldiers were transferred after they were vacated from the facility's Building 18, the site of moldy walls, rodent infestation and other problems that went unchecked until reported by the media. He said his conversations with those who had been in Building 18 left him "disturbed by their accounts.""

My husband was a Navy Corpsman for 7 years starting in the early 1990's. He told me Walter Reed was a shithole even then, so imagine what it became after all these years. Pres. Fucktard leads us into an unnecessary war, then has inept people in the Defense Dept. that can't even treat the wounded soldiers when they get home.
To be fair, this problem has been around longer than Pres. Fucktard. However, common sense would tend to dictate that if you are getting ready to send troops into battle, wouldn't you make sure that the facilities that would be taking care of the wounded be at least adequate, if not spectacular? As with the lack of a rebuilding program for post war Iraq, Pres. Fucktard is like a one legged man at an ass kicking contest, bouncing around and getting nothing done.

John and Elizabeth Edwards

I really didn't want to say anything just yet about the John and Elizabeth Edwards thing, but I've been seeing, once again, a lot of crap in the media. So, I'm putting my two cents worth in once again...

For those of you who haven't heard about this, Elizabeth Edwards, wife of Democratic Presidential candidate John Edwards, has inoperable breast cancer that has spread to her bones. She is terminal and most likely has a finite amount of time. She and her husband have decided to keep the campaign going, instead of stopping for her illness. Now, some in the media are raising hell about this. My comment: Fuck Off.

This woman is going to die of cancer. Keeping busy on the campaign trail is the best thing for her. Her mind will be kept off her pain. What do people expect her to do, sit at home, draw the shades and sing bible songs ( thanks Joe Rogan) until she dies? The woman is a fighter. After seeing someone fight cancer for 2 years tooth and nail (my late husband), I respect that more than going home to die. If she is able to keep up the rigors that come from campaigning, and her quality of life doesn't suffer, more power to her. Yes, they do have younger kids. But how whould you want your children to remember you? I'll, or vital as long as possible. Don't judge!!

Hurry up and fall down

I'm going through the weirdest time right now. There are things I want to do, but I am procrastinating to death. I want to finish the painting of Daniel I am doing. I want to do some watercolor, quilting, and calligraphy. I want to become a runner again. I am just frozen in fear of doing it. I've been having dreams of failing college. I am still cross stitching, but is that because I've done it so long that I know I can't fail it. Basically I'm in a big rut and cant dig myself out.
The fibro is acting weird too. The extended daylight and warmth, along with the vitamin therapy I'm doing, is giving me spirts of energy to do things around they house, but I can't sustain them. I'm driving myself nuts, lol

Get up and go music list

There are times I wake up especially groggy, since my night vitamin regime kicks me in different ways each night. The ritual I have gotten into to counter act the sleepies is: one 8 ounce can of something caffeinated (currently Pepsi), and my music. For anyone remotely curious, here's the list in the order it is on my play list:

White Zombie-Thunderkiss '65
Rob Zombie-Dragula (Hot Rod Herman Mix)
White Zombie- I'm Your Boogie Man
White Zombie-More Human Than Human
AC/DC- Let's Get It Up
AC/DC-You Shook Me All Night Long
Ozzy Osbourne-Flying High Again
White Zombie- Let the Bodied Hit The Floor
The Chieftains- Away We Go Again
The Knack-My Sharona
The Rolling Stones-Street Fighting Man
The Rolling Stones-Gimme Shelter
Disturbed-Stupefy
Disturbed-Down With The Sickness
White Stripes-Blue Orchid

If you aren't awake after that, you are in a coma.

Saturday night on the couch...counting blessings

Daniel is currently sacked out at 10:30 at night on a Saturday. I'm on the laptop, watching TV and counting my blessings. Its been a very calm weekend. There's nothing vital going on except going to the movies tomorrow(300). In two weeks will be the 2 year anniversary of our meeting. We are reasonably good health, financially secure, and still very much in love. We figured out that me staying with him the week before a party actually helps us, so from now on it will be a regular routine. The Goddess is in Her heaven and all is right with the world.

Offensive Friday...an ongoing series..

"I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally." W.C Fields

I have decided to try to annoy someone with my opinions today, and every Friday. Why? Because no one ever leaves comments here, and I'm lonely :P

So here are a few of my beliefs that probably will hopefully cause some comments here.

*Abortion should be a constitutional right to all women over the age of 16, no exceptions. If the age of consent is 16, so should be the age of women for abortions. If you are old enough to screw legally, you are old enough for an abortion.

*The Patriot Act is the biggest abuse of Constitutional rights in the history of this country. Everyone acted so shocked that the FBI abused it. Give the government an inch in infringing on Constitutional rights, they will always take a mile.

And my last comment...hehehehehe....

*Fundamentalist Christianity is the biggest blight in this country. I have news for you right wing christians, OTHER RELIGIONS EXIST. I know you have a hard time swallowing that bit of news, but get used to it. Just because you hold high positions does not mean you have the right to tell me who to marry, when to drink, and how to control my body. And by the way, the bible is a work of fiction written by people for people. You'd get the same outcome if you took the Kama Sutra literally, and have more fun.

Ah...I feel better......

Chastity Balls?!?!

First, An excerpt from the article by Jocelyne Zablit:

" WASHINGTON (AFP) - It has all the ingredients of a wedding. The proud tuxedo-clad father, the frosted white cake, the limousines and an exchange of vows.
But there is no groom and the girl in the long gown is no bride. She's daddy's little girl, there to take a vow of chastity.
In what is becoming a trend among conservative Christians in the United States, girls as young as nine are pledging to their fathers to remain virgins until they wed, in elaborate ceremonies dubbed "Purity Balls."
The gala affairs are intended to celebrate the father-daughter relationship.
The highlight is when the fathers and daughters exchange vows, with dad signing a covenant to protect his daughter's chastity by living an unblemished life and the daughter promising not to have sex until marriage.
Many fathers at the ceremonies also slip "purity rings" around the finger of their misty-eyed daughters or offer them "chastity bracelets" and other jewelry that the girls can entrust to their husbands on their wedding night."

I read this article with a mouthful of vomit I was trying to swallow down. This new trend of "Chastity Balls" offends me as a incest survivor, woman, and pragmatist.
First, from the the incest and woman standpoint. I was the victim of father-daughter incest. My "father" (Sperm Donor) always tried to make me promise to always be "daddy's little girl" and never pay attention to boys at all, except him. HE stated that daughters were always the property of their fathers until marriage, when they became the property of their husbands, usually hand picked by daddy. The fact that there are pseudo-weddings being held between fathers and daughters promising to keep a vital part of the girl's self, her virginity, until marriage, is sickening. Making a promise to their fathers to keep their virginity for their father's sake until marriage is perverse. I consider a girl's sexuality part of her own being. It should be her decision when and whom to give it to based on her informed decision after sex education about birth control ands STDS from BOTH parents and school.

As a feminist, it smacks of male ownership and hypocrisy. Virginity is being treated like a commodity to be bought and sold. It's not a dowry her father should be able to hand out. The times where any part of a girls person should be promised to their father is long gone. Oh, by the way, are there Son-Mother Chastity balls? Is anyone teaching the boys in this that they should be virgins until marriage? The same age old double standard society should be getting away from is still being reinforced by these balls.
As for being a pragmatist, the virginity promise won't work in the long run. The girl's average age for these ceremonies is somewhere around 9-12 years. I'm sorry, no young girl can possibly know what she will do at 15 or 16. The girl will be a different person by that time. And there seems to be a marked forgetting of human nature and peer pressure. A study from Yale and Harvard University discovered that 88 % of pledgers have sex before marriage anyway. These same 88% were also more likely to have more partners and less pregnancy and STD protection than their peers, and less likely to seek medical treatment out of guilt if they do catch something or get pregnant.

I was a virgin until I was 24, and lost it to the man I would eventually marry. Not because I had a sacred promise to keep my virginity, but because I was so traumatised from past abuse from my father I that was scared to have sex or even be sexual. The fact that this is the 21st century and this is going on simply stuns me. So much for progress.

Ostara 2007

Ostara or Eostre, before the Christians stole it and made it Easter, was the second of the Spring Sabbats. Today is the day when ritual and secular cleaning is normally done in households, to prepare for the warm weather ahead. I have all my windows open, to blow out the staleness of winter in both my heart and mind. Today is the kind of holiday that one can completely forget about all the crap in our lives by simply cleaning it out and throwing it away. It is also the day of fertility, when things are born or conceived. LOL that will have to wait for this weekend when Daniel's home.

I wish all my readers a wonderful day of clean fresh starts and warm breezes.

Tired, hurty, and sad

This is not a good time to blog for me. This was a Rockers weekend, a special two day party, and I am physically and mentally wasted. I said goodbye to my sweet Daniel for another 5 days. Ashley read my blog and took exception to my calling her a " mixed up kid", so I felt I had to remove all the pics of Kailey from both this blog and Daniel's.

I think that's what pushed me over the edge. I love that baby so much. It has been far harder to forget her than I thought it would be. Just seeing her pics at the same time I was deleting them felt like a knife stab. I have felt nothing but fondness and respect for Ashley, as a mother and a person, since all this started. When I could have blown up and been the Bitch of all bitches when she called with the news, I took the high road always, like my witch training has taught me. We were ready to be in this baby's life for the long haul. And I did call her a mixed up kid, and for that I am sorry. I'm the same age as her mother. The road she is having to travel is not a easy one, but I wish her well at it.

PS Listening to Goo Goo Dolls isn't a suggestion when one is not thinking happy thoughts.

Man, WV and my visit

This is the land of contrasts. The area is physically beautiful, once you mentally blot out the scars of strip mining. The mountains are high and hollows are narrow, and in summer it is gorgeous. The people are a different matter. This is an economically depressed area. If you don't work in the coal industry, chances are you don't work at all. Drugs are everywhere, with one part of the road between Man and where Daniel works being frequented by very pitiful young girls willing to do just about anything for $20 for their next fix. However, the people themselves are kind, generous, and friendly..a strange mix.

The visit has been wonderful. Just being with Daniel has refueled my emotional tanks. We are now sitting here in the office with me blogging and him playing on the PS2. We will be home on Friday just long enough to pick our stuff up to go to Rockers...more info later.

Upcoming Trip

I didn't mean to upset Daniel last night. I merely said that I had resigned myself to the fact of his being away so much. I didn't mean I missed him any less, or that I liked the situation. I just meant I have grown used to it and have adjusted my life accordingly. Apparently, I hit a nerve.
Daniel called me at 4 am and told me to have everything ready for Rockers next weekend, because I was coming with him to WV this week!!! I was overjoyed to hear it. It was good to hear he missed me as desperately as I missed him.
So I'm going to Man, WV from Monday to Friday morning, when we will then pick up the rental car and head for Rockers. This week I hope to be able to get outside a bit and look around the city. I'm also taking an art box to work on my drawing, watercolors, and sewing. It will be so good to spend time with my sweetie..I'll keep you posted.

New Blogger Skin

Ok everyone, about twice a year I have a fit of boredom and change my blog around. It's springtime, dammit, and I wanted some color and flowers to remind my eyes what they look like. We are just getting the first pale flush of spring here, from the green haze around the trees that shows the promise of the leaves to come (oh, and the allergies are kicking in, another sign of spring).
So, if you like it, post a comment, If you don't like it, post a comment.

A News Story...

...that finally made me smile instead of scream:

"Associated Press

DALTON, Ga. - A Georgia truck driver stepped forward Wednesday to claim half of a $390 million jackpot, the richest lottery prize in U.S. history.
'"I'm going to do a lot of fishing,"' Ed Nabors, 52, of Rocky Face, Ga., about 90 miles north of Atlanta, said in a deep Southern drawl. "

Now normally, some 90 year old retired doctor wins these things, precisely the ones who do not need it. That a 52 year old Georgia trucker won it pleases me immensely. I come from a family of carpenters, mechanics, and lots of truck drivers, both long haul and coal bucket [the open trailer trucks that haul gravel in other parts of the country]. This man makes a honest living the hard way, and is is young enough to enjoy the winnings, and most importantly, can use them. For once, it's just nice to see the little guy come out on top.

The First Day Out...

...is hellish. This is the first official walk I've done since fall I believe. Working out on the Gazelle isn't the same as smelling the fresh air, dodging the cars, avoiding the dogs, and feeling the pavement under your feet. There is such a feeling of accomplishment. You can actually gage your progress after 20 minutes of walking.
Yes the insanity of wanting to run again has hit my bloodstream like a seasonal allergy, and no amount of Benadryl can fix it. I will keep all informed of the ups. downs and sideways of my progress.

Its official....

The final blood DNA test results are here. It was done professionally, there can be no question of the validity of the results. The test was performed 3 times by two different labs, so the outcome is final.

Daniel is not a father. Kailey is not his. I really don't know what I totally feel now. I'm glad the roller-coaster is over. I'm relieved in a way that we can get on with our lives...and yet..

Kailey is a sweet baby. Her mother Ashley is a mixed up kid. We have become friends with her family. Daniel has decided that the best thing to do is cut all ties with them, for his own emotional health, and I agree with him. Will I miss her (Kailey)? Yes, she has grown into my heart. Will I rejoice that the first biological child that my husband has is mine? Yes. Life is full of greys, and this situation is one of them.

Captain Outrageous

Captain Outrageous died February 9. Yes that has been several weeks ago now, but I haven't exactly known what to say until now. I've been kinda trying to put the shock into words, but couldn't till now.

To all not in the know, Capt. O was an art INSITUTION in Key West. If one person could be called part of the essential fabric of KW it was him. He had an international following, but this was the same affable old coot that would say hello and wink as I ran by him in coming out of Harpoon Harry's after breakfast. His art was everywhere on the streets and in the windows and musical instruments, as colorful and varied as a fine emerald found from a Keys shipwreck. I didn't know him more than to say hello, but his art stayed in my heart for the past 7 years.
The sad part is his passing feels like another string connecting me to KW has been cut. If I had been there, I would have marched in his funeral procession through the streets of the island. Capt. O's death has reminded me both how distant those days are becoming, and how instantly my heart can be snapped back like a piece of elastic right back there. Have a good sail Capt'!!

Entertainment News Diatribe

The past week on CNN has been like an episode of "As the Stomach Churns". I only have a few things to say:

*FOR THE LOVE OF WHATEVER YOU CONSIDER HOLY, SOMEBODY BURY ANNA NICOLE SMITH AND GET IT OFF THE ^$%#&$^ Air !!!!!
The woman is decomposing as we speak, and all the vultures of her life are still circling for her money and fame including THE JUDGE, so please just get on with it and bury her already!! (as of a few minutes ago the judge awarded the body to the lawyer representing Anna Nicole's 5 month old baby, with a suggestion to bury her in in The Bahamas, but no clear order. Lovely, that just clears everything up {*&@*&#} )

**News Flash : BRITTANY SPEARS STORY TREATED LIKE SHE IS FIRST WOMAN TO SHAVE HEAD AND GO PSYCHO ON DRUGS!!!!
I have some news of my own: when a woman shaves her head, its a cry for help. I know this because I have done it. Yet you didn't hear the news about it on CNN every freaking time I made a move. Is she the first celeb to hit bottom? The first to flame out in public? NO. When the news coverage gets so bad it makes K-Fed look like Ward Clever, its time to find another story ( as of a few hours ago, Brittany was back in rehab, and Federline got the kids while she stays there...good luck with that.)

Hells bells, If I wanted to know about all this shit, I'd be going to People.com. All I'm asking is for real news to be carried out, and the crap to be left in Entertainment where it belongs.

The Itchy and Scratchy Show...

I'm doing a special post today from the lovely campus of Virginia Tech Vet School. My friend has the sweetest Lab mix puppy that has no growth plates in his front legs. They were lucky enough to get a scholarship to bring him to VA Tech. the conundrum is that I'm highly allergic to dogs, but, for the cause, i came with her to keep her company on the drive. Yes, a dose of Benedryl and nebulizer along with a long shower will be in order when I get home.

This campus is gorgeous. Quite a few new buildings due to the football fetish here. its very clean and safe. Its nice but makes me miss UK.

The tests, both of them

No, I didn't forget about the tests. For the first, I was there bright and early Saturday morning while the test moderators were trying to get their shit together. The test took about an hour, and it was BASIC. It was filing, simple math, phone etiquette and such. I should get some news about it and the job in the next week. You have to be in the top 5 scores to qualify, and unless I'm a COMPLETE moron, I did just fine.
As for the second test, we went to the hospital yesterday morning to have it done. A was running late with Kailey, so we took our sweet time at registration so she could catch up. The baby was a sweetie, until they took her back to get her test-those dumb asses took her blood from her arm like an adult (bastards). However, Kailey didn't cry for long, and we all went back to the apartment to eat lunch and romp with the baby till Daniel had to leave for work. It was one of the best visits we have had. We will have those results by Friday or next Monday.