I told you: Renee (i.e.Cunt) looks a bit haggard..HAHAHAH 
www.wireimage.com (web site)
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Leonardo DiCaprio and Giselle Bundchen : This girl has a body and a man to die for and this is the best she can do for a dress? A feed sack?

www.wireimage.com (web site)
 

Natalie Portman: This is better than that nasty white thing she wore to the Golden Globes, but still a bit weird.

www.wireimage.com (web site) 

Hilary Swank, another one of the gowns I loved.

www.wireimage.com (web site) 

Kate Winslet: My Fave of all the dresses
Curtesy of
www.wireimage.com (web site) 

Oscar recap

Well I got 7 right. All were warned not to use my guesses as a betting source. I was kinda upset that Sideways only got one Oscar, but it was a big one: Best Adapted Screenplay. Chris Rock was a bit weird to watch, but did a good job. I liked the diversity this year. I also liked the alternative awards presentations from the audience and having some categories with all nominees on stage. There were people missing though: I didn't see Jim Carey, Nicole Kidman, Tom Cruise, Jack Nicholson. It kind of gave it an empty feeling. Otherwise, entertaining as usual, though I did miss Billy Crystal. The fashions were a treat. And what the hell is it with blonde actresses going brunette this year? Renee Zellweger looked downright haggard (HAHAHAHA).

2005 Oscars 77th Academy Awards..My Guesses

Ok kids here are my hopes for the big awards...here goes nothing: OH CAVEAT..these are strictly sentimental choices, so don't bet the farm on them.

Best Picture:
SIDEWAYS (Fox Searchlight)

Best Director:
Clint Eastwood for MILLION DOLLAR BABY

Best Actor:
Don Cheadle for HOTEL RWANDA

Best Actress:
Hilary Swank for MILLION DOLLAR BABY

Best Supporting Actor:
Thomas Haden Church for SIDEWAYS

Best Supporting Actress:
Virginia Madsen for SIDEWAYS

Best Original Screenplay:
THE AVIATOR (Miramax) by John Logan

Best Adapted Screenplay:
SIDEWAYS (Fox Searchlight) by Alexander Payne, Jim Taylor

Best Foreign-Language Film:
THE SEA INSIDE - Spain

Best Animated Feature Film:
THE INCREDIBLES (Disney/Pixar)

Achievement in Art Direction:
A VERY LONG ENGAGEMENT (Warner Independent Pictures)

Achievement in Costume Design
THE AVIATOR (Miramax)

Best Documentary Feature:
SUPER SIZE ME (Roadside Attractions / Samuel Goldwyn Films)

Best Film Editing:
THE AVIATOR (Miramax)

Achievement in Makeup:
LEMONY SNICKET'S A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS (Paramount Pictures)

Best Original Score:
John Williams for HARRY POTTER AND THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN

Original Song:
"Al Otro Lado Del Río" from THE MOTORCYCLE DIARIES (Focus Features)

Achievement in Sound Mixing:
THE AVIATOR (Miramax)

Achievement in Sound Editing:
THE INCREDIBLES (Disney/Pixar)

Best Visual Effects:
I, ROBOT (20th Century Fox)

Best Documentary Short:
MIGHTY TIMES: THE CHILDREN'S MARCH

Best Animated Short Film:
LORENZO

Best Live-Action Short Film:
LITTLE TERRORIST

10 things I've done that no one else probably has..

My friend Clint had this on his blog BlueFairlane. Basically its supposed to be 10 things I have done that few others have. Ok, here they are in no particular order:

-Had sex with 9 other people watching and/or participating.

-Got on a train in Vienna Austria that was out of order, went to the rail yard, then had to be brought back to the station on a engine.

-was a groupie for 2 years during the hair band era (never had sex but took all their good drugs)

-Held my soulmate as he took his last breaths of air before death.

-Worked at a zoo and a lighthouse (not at the same time).

-Drank real moonshine

-Survived 4 suicide attempts

-Traveled through 40 states

-Been a slave (BDSM)

-Lived in Grand Teton National Park

The Flu is my friend.

Yep this is my second go around with the flu in two friggin months. I feel like hell before breakfast. I dont think work tomorrow is possible, but we will see. Currently Im stoned on Nyquil searching for more pics to add to my secret obsession collection, since crawling into a fetal position and dying isnt an option. Got lots of IMs from well meaning friends who are keeping their distance,LOL.

Rejoice Part I

The running joke in my family is that babies come in packs. Usually there's at least 3 born a year. This time there are 4 babies due in the space of 5 months. Two aunts and two cousins are pregnant. The first came today.

ANNOUNCING THE BIRTH OF:
Wyatt Nathaniel, 7 pounds 1 ounce, 20 and 1/2 inches long. Seeing as both his parents have red hair, as well as his older brother Ryan, he has it too (like his Auntie Z). Baby Wyatt isn't technically my nephew. His mother Margaret is my best friend from 6th grade who married my youngest uncle Christopher, who is only 5 years older than us. Most of the children that belong to my younger aunts and uncles just call me aunt anyway. Saves the confusion. He was delivered at 8:00 am this morning by C section in Lexington KY. Wyatt seems to be shaping up to be a better tempered baby than his 7 year old brother, who was hell on wheels literally. This is also one of the cases where ultrasounds are not a good test of gender: the two Marg had said girl. But they will happily take the boy and be perfectly content. Marg and Chris have been together for 16 years, married for 9, and have now two healthy boys: my heroes.

The second baby may be here today as well, under worse circumstances. My Cousin Tanya went into premature labor yesterday after spiking a fever with pneumonia. She's only at 27 weeks. They stopped the labor and hope to keep her stable until the baby is further along. I think I might have mentioned this in earlier postings, but birthing problems run in the maternal side of the family. My maternal grandma gave birth to 11 without so much as a hiccup. We actually tease her about being a Pez dispenser. Her daughters and granddaughters have run the gamut of problems: breach births (3 aunts, 1 cousin), placenta previa ( 1 Aunt), Gestational Diabetes (2 aunts and my sister), and finally pre and full Eclamsea ( my sister, who lost my niece Piper at 27 weeks and almost her own life). So it is no big wonder I'm kind of gun shy about approaching pregnancy myself. However, I have plenty of little ankle biters around to enjoy parenthood vicariously through family members.

What Bush should be doing

This is from The Onion:

"Determined To Find Warehouse
Where Ark Of Covenant Is Stored
WASHINGTON, DC
In a surprise press conference Monday, President Bush said he will not rest until the warehouse where the Ark of the Covenant, the vessel holding the original Ten Commandments, is located. 'Nazis stole the Ark in 1936, but it was recovered by a single patriot, who braved gunfire, rolling boulders, and venomous snakes,' Bush said, addressing the White House press corps. 'Sadly, due to bureaucratic rigmarole, this powerful, historic relic was misplaced in a warehouse. Mark my words: We will find that warehouse.' Bush added that, after they are strengthened by the power of the Ark, U.S. forces will seek out and destroy the sinister Temple of Doom. ""

Hunter S. Thompson

I've been reading various blogs written by friends and acquaintances, and strangers, about the shotgun suicide of Hunter S. Thompson. The only consensus is that not one single person was surprised. Losing his scalp was the only fitting way for ole Hunter to go, since it now ties him to the exclusive club of geniuses that took the time to go down in double barrel glory. Hunter S. Thompson has immortalized himself. He will be forever worshipped by the dark little souls who love the romance of his life. We actually owe him a small debt, since he was the first to report the news through his completely biased unapologetically point of view. Now we think nothing of listening to pundits on news shows giving their two cents worth and passing it off as journalism. Thanks Hunter.

Was he a "good" writer? That will be judged forever one way or the other. I think he was arrogant because he knew his talent. Kinda like being cute and knowing it. Unfortunately he let his skills go to shit the last 20 years. His last great shot of brilliance was his November, 2004 article in Rolling Stone. He railed as loudly and brazenly as he could at the current administration. It was like the Old Hunter was on the loose for one last time. Was he a misogynist, paranoid nutjob? No question. That alone puts him in Hemingway's company. The one overriding point of respect I have for him was his completely fearless use of words. Words were weapons to him and he used them as well as his gun collection, all the way to the end. He called a spade a spade, and sometimes other things spades too. Hunter was the signature counter culture Journalist, like The Grateful Dead was the signature band. Iconic. And guaranteed to be so now with a well placed shotgun shell.

Who I am..A manifesto

The Invitation by Oriah Mountain Dreamer has a pretty controversial section in it...

"It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy."

No one protects me but me. I have learned after my husband died hard lessons. I will not lose myself to please another. There won't be a moment of sleep lost on my part for living the life I choose. For believing in the faith I hold. I will not be made to feel ashamed about who I am. I make no apologies nor want any. No longer will I settle for ANYTHING less than what I want and what I DEEM is good for me. If I upset others by believing this, FUCK THEM. I don't want to hurt people intentionally, or be cruel. I just want to have a man of my own, a career of my own, and a fulfilling faith OF MY OWN. Yes some consider me a slut, thief an liar. Am I? A slut probably yes that's one word for it. Do I lie and steal: NO. At the end of the day when I look at myself in the mirror I have no shame or disgust at seeing my reflection.
So who am I?
A devout Witch of 15 years.
I am a painter.
I am a bad housekeeper, and am terrible with money.
I am a good friend to have.
I compete badly with others in general and women in particular.
I am straight, and faithful when others are faithful to me.
I am happiest when near the sea.

This is who I am, take it or leave it.

Gallery Hopity and pleasant surprises...

Last night was the bi monthly Gallery Hop in Lexington (www.lexarts.org). I got a late start, but still got to get to my fave galleries. The Lexington Art League had a series of prints and abstract photography that was cool (www.lexingtonartleague.com). Its it the National City Bank Building so its normally my first stop. I then headed to the Downtown Arts Center, that had a collection of oils on canvas. The Actors Guild had a play on at the same time, and with Alfalfa's full it was a mob scene. Across the street at Lexington Public Library, they had some wonderful local scene acrylics and Quilt blocks hung as paintings. There was a line at Gallerie Soleil that I was most willing to stand in. Soleil is a private loft of several studios. That place is my chance to actually hang in the personal studio space of several successful artists. John Ridener and Tony Adams are two of my faves, and I get to talk at length with them every time I go. Its a delicious feeling. I hit ArtsPlace and Bodly-Bullock House before I reached Mecca. Now Mecca (www.meccadance.com) is not only a gallery of sorts but also a dance studio. And to my delight and surprise that were having a performance art/recital/benefit for Tsunami relief that I made just in time. What followed was two hours of delight. They did several scenes from Cabaret and Moulin Rouge, as well as Balinese dancing. The whole experience was hip and artsy and fun. Gallery Hop is the date I take myself on every other month, and worth every moment.

A friends quote...

" {Zezrie} you just haven't figured out what you really want... so you keep trying whatever comes along...kind of a bobbing cork in a stream...you have a general idea where the current is taking you but no real way to speed it up"
mkculp

My brief brush with whoredom

It was bound to happen sooner or later. The whole thing with Mr. Cool has bit the dust. He asked me if I wanted to turn tricks for him. Let me break the situation down with me: I'm trying to get over an assault, I want to go to Savannah College of Art so bad I can taste it, and I'm broke. Mr. Cool had connections. So I agreed. I went with a guy last Thursday and gave him a blowjob. 10 minute job=60 dollars. So he wanted me to do some real tricks this weekend at the aforementioned party from an earlier post. I said yes. I got there and he didn't tell me where or who I was doing. I waited a few hours, then went off with T. I had a splendid evening for free. Then Sunday night the IM's started coming, from Mr. Cool. The guilt trips about blowing $1500 because I went off by myself. So I ended it. I ended my chance to go to school, I ended what I thought was a relationship with a guy who supposedly loved me. I might have saved my inner self worth. I was never really part of that world. I played there for awhile. I will miss the friends I had there. It also hurt when I ended other parts of my life. Now I have to figure out what's next. Also I have to figure out if keeping my self respect was worth losing a chance to go to school. I want a man who loves me for what I am, not what he wants me to be. So I am truly single again....Lovely.

Valentine's Day Massacre: Lyrics Alert

I believe I have posted these lyrics before, but so what. This is my favorite love song, because it talks about realistic love.

CALL IT LOVE
--Poco--
(R. Guilbeau, B. Crain, R. Lonow, J. Messina)

We've got all night, let's take our time
Tell me your secrets, I'll tell you mine
When it makes us feel better, call it love

You say you won't, I say you will
You make me crazy, but I want you still
When it makes us feel better, call it love

Chorus:
Do we tell the truth, or do we live a lie
Is the feeling good, is that what makes you cry
When you say those words, look me in the eye
Tell me why you call it love

I play my hand, you call my bluff
We push each other, 'til we've had enough
When it's all you've got, call it love

If I didn't have money, would you want me still
When you look real close, do we fit the bill
Call it what you want, but only time will tell

(chorus)

(Solo)

(chorus)

We've got all night, let's take our time
Tell me your secrets, I'll tell you mine
When it makes us feel better, call it love

Call it love, call it love, call it love
When it's all you've got, call it love

Valentine's Day Massacre: Final Thoughts

I was in the process Saturday of writing the most scathing, vitriolic, hateful entry about Valentine's Day I could manage. Then I went to the Valentine's party held by Mr. Cool and his swing club. Mr. Cool and his shack up were fighting, so no Valentine's celebration with him. Did my usual thing with flirting with all the people I knew, and trying to make the newbie's comfortable. About 10pm after a decent sized joint and 4 Fuzzy Navels (http://www.idrink.com/drinks/Fuzzy_Navel.htm), I was reasonably relaxed to play. A new guy approached me, and started talking, I'll call him T. He was a reasonably pleasant guy, a bit on the yuppie side but funny. Turned my head a second, then turned it back and he was kissing me. Very well. What started to catch my attention was the he was in no hurry for anything else, just deep kissing. But after an hour of necking (HIGHLY UNUSUAL), one of us talked the other into heading to his room, I cant recall who. And what followed was about 3 hours of the hottest sex I've had in almost a year. What made it hot was not 22 positions, or technique. This guy treated me like a GODDESS. He continually praised me for my beauty. He kept saying how perfect I was, how incredible I tasted and smelled and felt under his mouth and hands. The best part was that after 2 mutual orgasms (Rare as Hell for me), he didn't run to the next partner. He laid there and held me and kept up the praise and affection, and kept up the long deep sensual kisses. He sought no other partner that night, as is common at a swing party. For three hours I was the sole universe of a member of the opposite sex. And it had been far too long.

It is so ironic about life. Just when I was getting ready to trash love in general, Valentine's Day in particular, and men specifically, I get a curve ball flung my way. And the biggest surprise at all, I hit a home run. After the past year of walking around supposedly holding myself above the messiness of romance, I got reminded about what it could be. In a one night stand of all things. The past few weeks have dealt me a beating, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. I was questioning my self esteem. And then one perfect encounter reinforced my self worth. Logically I know I am an incredible woman with gifts and talents and passions, and my own version of beauty. Maybe I just need reminded more often? Who really knows. The goddess Aphrodite gave me a gift on Saturday I won't soon forget. As for Valentine's Day, it will forever continue to be an overhyped, media driven exercise in wholesale humiliation, until we can all learn that romance and love starts with the self, then we share it.

HAPPY FUCKING VALENTINE"S DAY

The day's here, let us all hope I get through it with as little carnage as possible.

The Grammy's Rehash..

Ray Charles swept it. I could have done without Freebird, but the Southern Rock bit was good. I want to congratulate Loretta Lynn and Jack White for their two grammy wins: Best Country Collaboration With Vocals, and Best Country Album. The Grammy's in the past has celebrated progressive country, and this was no exception. I was pleased the Grammy's no longer suck as badly as they did in the past.