Valentine's Massacre: Perfect Love Part 1

During my month long rant about love and sex and male/female interaction, I would like to stop and give credit where credit is due. This part is saved for the couples who actually made love look effortless, graceful, and sublime. Some are/were married, some aren't. The only criteria I'm using is quality of the love, not the length of marriage ( my grandparents have been married for almost 58 years with 11 children. They did their best to kill each other the first 45 of those years.). The first in this hall of fame of sorts: Johnny and June Carter Cash.
The Facts:They fell in love on tour in the early 60's. At one point June was the more famous of the two, from her days with the seminal country act The Carter Family. He proposed and the married in 1968. Their only child John Carter was born in 1970. They won Grammys together and apart. Their love was the inspiration for such classics as "Ring of Fire" and "If I were a Carpenter".
Why they are in this hall of fame? These two came together as two forces of nature and combined to form an equally hellacious partnership. They had their own careers, but it never seemed to interfere with the nucleus of who they were. June helped Johnny kick his addictions that plagued him for years. It breaks down to this: The met and married in a whirlwind. The had a rock solid, intense, passionate relationship of 35 years plus. The most important, tragic as well as romantic point: they died within 4 months of each other. They completed each other, and death was not an long obstacle to that fact. Thank you both for your inspiration.

Why record companies are morons...

This just popped up on my MyYahoo page from Weird News from the AP:

" CHARLESTON, W.Va. - Gertrude Walton was recently targeted by the recording industry in a lawsuit that accused her of illegally trading music over the Internet. But Walton died in December after a long illness, and according to her daughter, the 83-year-old hated computers.

More than a month after Walton was buried in Beckley, a group of record companies named her as the sole defendant in a federal lawsuit, claiming she made more than 700 pop, rock and rap songs available for free on the Internet under the screen name "smittenedkitten."

Of course, the poor freaked out daughter of the deceased apparently sent these assholes a death certificate, and they have since dropped the case. I have absolutely no respect for the Big Record Companies. The rip the consumers off by overcharging us for content and not signing less mainstream artists. The rip the artists off by not giving them nearly the profit and artistic integrity they deserve. The big labels are sucking the music industry dry, and then they wonder why we decide to go alternative routes for out tunes. Fuck them. I will stick to my tried and true method for music purchase. First, hear the new bands at The Dame, or on my personal radio station on Launch Cast (Yahoo). If I hear more than three songs from one band from one album I like, I go to Kaaza lite and download songs from the entire album to see if I like it. If the album passes my test ( no more than three songs that I have to FF through)I will go and buy the CD. Then I will erase the songs I took and replace it with songs from the purchased CD. I consider this fair. If there is only one or two songs I like , or the album is particularly rare and hard to find, I keep the downloaded songs till I find the CD. This way I am satisfied, the small record store I buy from stays healthy, and the artists get the money they have earned by me. Until the Big Labels get their heads out of their asses and wise up, I will continue to do this with no shame.

Valentine's Day Massacre: Pondering timing

The earlier strip about men v/s women's approach to sex had to be explored further. Why are men and women so out of synch sexually? Is there some sort of energy transference, and if there is why haven't women turned men into a slave race (some could argue we have)by now? LOL this is my slave race theory: women fuck men's brains out, then as they are recovering we use all that energy for taking over the world.
The missed wavelength during sex is the first problem. I am souped up by sex. I could run a 5k (and have) after a hot night under a guy. My partner didn't wake up till I got back from the race, showered and climbed back into bed. However, I had one lover that would jump up from bed RIGHT AFTER orgasm and run for the shower. This would then have him all energized and talking until I was the one that turned over and slept. So I don't think we are going to link our energy output anytime soon. Some of my thirtysomthing buddies have cured this problem by screwing much younger guys. This has its own host of problems so I haven't gone that rout yet. Thus we just keep having sex and figure it out as we go.

The trouble between the sexes.. 

A scary St. Valentine's threat... 

Want to play post card tag with a really cool guy?

Ben Blackwell is the owner of Cass Records in Detroit (www.cassrecords.com). He's all of about 22-23 years old and probably has seen more in the music industry in 5 years than any of us will in a lifetime. He just started this really cool postcard trade, and wants participants. Besides me, I thought I'd plug it to stir up some more players:

"Trade Postcards:
Ben at Cass Records truly believes in the beauty of the American Postal System. Having used the system his entire life, his main focus at the time is the classic post card. So here's the fun part: write Ben a message/ransom note/marriage proposal on a post card and send it to Cass Records HQ (3424 Bishop, Detroit, MI 48224) and Ben will send you a post card back. It's like a really confusing game of tag! Remember, the cooler, older and weirder the post card, the better. And Ben will most likely reward awesome post cards with even awesomer ones. He even made up special Cass Records stamps for the occasion. And don't be afraid to alter or goof with the images on your post card...in fact, we encourage it. Long live mail art!"

Skewered love quotes

"As she lay there dozing next to me, one voice inside my head kept saying, "Relax... you are not the first doctor to sleep with one of his patients, " but another kept reminding me, "Howard, you are a veterinarian. "

Roger Matthews


"The big difference between sex for money and sex for free Is that sex for money usually costs a lot less!"

Brendan Francis


And here's a fave of mine:


"When love beckons to you follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions
May wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams
As the north wind lays waste the garden.
For even as love crowns you
so shall he crucify you.
Even as he is for your growth
So is he for your pruning."


The Prophet by Gibran Khalil Gibran

All courtesy of http://www.lovequote.com/

THE ST. VALENTINE'S MASSACRE AND MAMMOTH MONTH LONG RANT!!!!

This is a warning to all of you who think Valentines Day is this sweet, warm and fuzzy holiday that you an your honey-bunny can snuggle to and be smoochy-woochy. AAAARRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!! Valentines Day has always been the most hated of the holidays for me, with Xmas and New Years scoring a close second and third. There is no other holiday that can make a normal person feel humiliated, small and worthless. Even when I was married, Valentines Day would suck: one of us had to work, we were fighting or traveling or he was sick. Thus, I have taken a sacred oath to use this month in my blog to dissect why we as a human race have to humiliate ourselves with this day, with love in general, and why love is even pertinent in today's world. I also will address different kinds of love: gay, straight, bi, animal, vegetable, and mineral. Sex, which is also so intertwined with love, will also be explored in great length. Basically, this will be my opportunity to bitch to high heaven about shit that stems to not getting any valentines in kindergarten. My first bitch: Social Pressure.
Why the hell is it that single people are treated like shit on Valentines Day? One would think logically this would be the time to help singles out by helping to pair them up. NOOOO, this is a time where subtle humiliation us heaped upon those with no dates or relationships this time of year. How does one feel like when they get no offers for dates, flowers, candy, gifts? Like a worthless subhuman that's ugly, socially inferior, and humiliated. The media and Madison Ave. Advertising are all in on it. The commercials, the shows, all meant to render the single person to dorkdom. Right now, because of fate, circumstance, or happenstance. I am single. Happily. But to this very day when I see the Valentines stuff I feel like crap because I buy into the " Nobody finds me lovable enough to buy me crap, thus I'm not worthy of love". Yes, even though I consider myself fairly savvy, the programming is buried deep. To combat this, I'm including all valentines-related paraphenalia in to the category of our President: I will just start swearing and throwing things at the very sight of such disgust.

I need therapy..

I think since the attack, I have never been offered so much sex. And I'm creeping myself out about what I should do. I have no urge to let anyone into my apartment unless they are the most trusted. The problem was that I was attacked by a trusted (I thought) person. However I still have the same urges, and I cant afford the batteries I'm going though with my rabbit. Will it take one huge leap to get me back into the saddle? Do I want to? Will I freak when the time comes? Hell, will I turn into a bigger nypho (sans anal) than I am? All I know is that I feel ugly, when logically I know I'm not. That might be my period talking more than psyche. I haven't found the cure for the bloodless feeling yet, hopefully that will be next. Tomorrow is Imbolc, so maybe the Goddess will have some answers, or at least hints.

Painting step 2....Stomach Cramps

After I finished the sketching, I began to get the paint and implements of the job out. Had three different shades of red to choose. and I chose Napthol Red Medium acrylic, along with titanium white and black. The red and black I mixed to get a really cool black/purple color for the shading. Normally I paint the dark sections first, then go lighter. The good thing about Oils v/s Acrylics is that acrylics dry faster. The bad thing: lol the acrylics dry faster. I had to be very careful doing the shading not to over shade..If I screwed up I cant just scrape it off like oils. But acrylics are really opaque, so I can cover one color with another with no bleed through. As I was doing this I was assaulted with all of these thoughts of "This sucks". Thus the cramps. Now the bigger decisions occur: how much redder do I want this to be. Do I just take the mixed dark I have and ad white and make the lighter sections purplish, or, do I take a base red and make them redder?..

Painting step 1...Nausea

I took the first step on the new painting. I thought I'd include this for all people who think painting is romantic: HA.This painting is being done on canvas board,with acrylic. This is my first dance with this medium thus the nausea. I took the pic and with a charcoal pencil I did the proportion mark off. I then sketched the outline of various shade ranges, to know where the very darkest shades went, and so on. I would do a few more sketches on my way to and from the kitchen, as my studio is on my kitchen counter. It serves the purpose of making me feel guilty for not working on it, so I do every pass.

Cool Quote

"I disregard the proportions, the measures, the tempo of the ordinary world. I refuse to live in the ordinary world as ordinary women. To enter ordinary relationships. I want ecstasy. I am a neurotic -- in the sense that I live in my world. I will not adjust myself to the world. I am adjusted to myself."
--Anais Nin--
March 25, 1933 from Incest

Two Fisted Admiration

I remember in early November being in line to vote on election day. I was surrounded by college students and professors, and locals who worked for the university. The biggest worry I had, except that Bush would win, was about the piece of art work I was planning and taking my meds on time. Today is a Sunday, and a world away people, men and women, are standing in line to vote in the Iraqi elections. Their worries: if they will live to make it back to their homes, and if they will survive the following weeks from retribution attacks. The very survival of their families hang in the balance. We spoilt Americans cannot comprehend that kind of stake in an election, unless you are black and tried to vote in the south in the 1960's. This may not be a perfect system, but the Iraqi elections are showing democracy at its most vital, where the urge to have a choice overrides the fear of death. This must have been how early Americans felt, when actual participation in a system that beforehand had been denied them was so important that they would risk life and limb, honor and family, to have them. Let me make this clear: I think our President is a complete Idiot Scumfuck who has united the whole world against us. I hate this unnecessary war, its meaning, and its cost. However, I have a tremendous amount of respect for those people in line in Baghdad, Basra, Falluja, and the rest of the nation of Iraq who have the balls to do what 50% of Americans fail to do:VOTE.

And as a reminder to the people of this country, here is the Declaration of Independence in it's entirety:


The Declaration of Independence of the Thirteen Colonies
In CONGRESS, July 4, 1776

The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America,

When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. --That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security. —Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain [George III] is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.

He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.

He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.

He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.

He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.

He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected; whereby the Legislative powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.

He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.

He has obstructed the Administration of Justice, by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary powers.

He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone, for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.

He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harass our people, and eat out their substance.

He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the consent of our legislatures.

He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil power.

He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:

For Quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:

For protecting them, by a mock Trial, from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:

For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:

For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:

For depriving us, in many cases, of the benefits of Trial by Jury:

For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences:

For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies:

For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws, and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:

For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.

He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.

He has plundered our seas, ravaged our Coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.

He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty and perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.

He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.

He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages, whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.

In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.

Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our British brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.

We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by the Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States; that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.

The signers of the Declaration represented the new states as follows:

New Hampshire
Josiah Bartlett, William Whipple, Matthew Thornton

Massachusetts
John Hancock, Samual Adams, John Adams, Robert Treat Paine, Elbridge Gerry

Rhode Island
Stephen Hopkins, William Ellery

Connecticut
Roger Sherman, Samuel Huntington, William Williams, Oliver Wolcott

New York
William Floyd, Philip Livingston, Francis Lewis, Lewis Morris

New Jersey
Richard Stockton, John Witherspoon, Francis Hopkinson, John Hart, Abraham Clark

Pennsylvania
Robert Morris, Benjamin Rush, Benjamin Franklin, John Morton, George Clymer, James Smith, George Taylor, James Wilson, George Ross

Delaware
Caesar Rodney, George Read, Thomas McKean

Maryland
Samuel Chase, William Paca, Thomas Stone, Charles Carroll of Carrollton

Virginia
George Wythe, Richard Henry Lee, Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Harrison, Thomas Nelson, Jr., Francis Lightfoot Lee, Carter Braxton

North Carolina
William Hooper, Joseph Hewes, John Penn

South Carolina
Edward Rutledge, Thomas Heyward, Jr., Thomas Lynch, Jr., Arthur Middleton

Georgia
Button Gwinnett, Lyman Hall, George Walton

This one might be my fave... 

Yes God has a sense of humor.. 

Red Meat is the most subversive comic in the universe..this is one of a series that explain why... 

Wake UP!!!

This week has been pretty grueling. Work sucks on a daily basis. I'm still not ready for the thought of intimate company yet but working on it. An I came to the realization last night as I was stoned out of my gourd that I truly have chosen this life. I chose to let a man in who assaulted me. I choose to get my ass kicked at work because I wont make a reason to leave. Enough passiveness. I want to be a goddamn artist...So I applied to the Savannah College of Art and Design. This is a pretty prestigious art school with one of the best Historic Preservation departments in the country, though I might just say fuck it and try painting. It will be a huge personal challenge. But, as you have all read in the past, I have faced worse. How am I paying for it: don't know. What will I do if not accepted: don't care yet. The very process of trying is invigorating. I've started a painting tonight because I need a portfolio done and don't have enough work to do one. Instead of life happening I'm making it happen. So I'm invigorated. Scared. Thrilled.

Definitions

Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary has this entry for this word:

Main Entry:3 rape
Function: noun
1 : an act or instance of robbing or despoiling or carrying away a person by force
2 : unlawful sexual activity and usually sexual intercourse carried out forcibly or under threat of injury against the will usually of a female or with a person who is beneath a certain age or incapable of valid consent.

Main Entry: acquaintance rape
Function: noun
1: rape committed by someone known to the victim


I am always wondering how words pertain to, and define us as humans and individual souls. The English Language has over 100,000 words so I'm told, and a word for every thing and experience. My dilemma is that cannot discern if the above words pertain to or define what I have experienced. And if they do, how do I keep it from defining me?
Someone who I have had an off and on relationship for two years came over on Sunday. I had not talked to this individual in several months, and out of the blue he calls. He's leaving the train wreck he was living with, and had got his ex-wife to take him back. I was happy for him. First call was at noon, second call at 3:30. He wants to come over. I had a late xmas gift for him. So he comes over. We lay there watching football, I rub his back since he had worked that morning. We begin to kiss and touch. He whispers something in my ear about not doing something to me before. I'm half undressed, and he flipped me over. Then he tried to start anal sex, which he knows I don't like (mainly because of him in the first place). I tell him no, not interested. He does it anyway...

I really don't know how long this took, sort of blurry. I remember being flipped over after it seemed like 15 minutes of hard anal, legs up, him inside me the normal way a few strokes, then him pulling out and cumming on my belly. He kissed me, got up to go wash. I just laid there. He brought me a clean towel to clean up with and all I could think about was not wanting to ruin the towel for some reason. I told him no, I would go shower. And I did get up and walked to the bathroom. I was very shaky. I showered. I went back to the bed he was flipping channels. He laid beside me for about a half hour, and we talked. I remember talking, but not what I said. I even laughed I think. Then I walked him to the door. He kissed me goodbye, and left. I do remember he kept asking me if I was ok. And I kept saying yes I was. I was numb.

I've been numb all week. My boss gave me hell today, and I normally cry. I just was a blank. I donated blood. I worked out Monday and Tuesday even though I was so very very sore. I've told only three friends about this, two guys and a girl. The word rape came up all three times. And yet, I cant call it that. Why not? I was held down, I said no and kept saying no. He didn't stop. I keep using the word forced. I will not press charges. I have a submissive nature. Does my mind think I wanted it? Do I think that the word rape conjures up stalking and raping in back corners? Or do I know deep in my heart that if I acknowledge this word that I will freak? I'm already the posterchild for burned out depression. I know that unless I scraped the cum off and saved it I still couldn't prove it since I didn't fight or scream or call the cops right after. It would make life at a difficult job impossible. And then it comes down to being defined: "rape VICTIM" I get riled by that. I am no victim. I simply think I do not want to be defined by this so I'm numbing up. Will be interesting to see what happens If I do start feeling.

How close I came to Guessing Right: Oscars

Well I'm just now getting a chance to look at the Oscar nominations, and damn, I didn't do too bad. Here are the surprises in each category:

Best Picture:
I got 4 out of 5. The surprise was Finding Neverland, I chose Kinsey. The big no brainer was that Fahrenheight 911 and Passion of the Christ got nil. Oscar simply doesn't like controversy ever since Color Purple.

Best Director:
3 out of 5. The surprises were Taylor Hackford for Ray and Mike Leigh for Vera Drake. I picked Marc Forrester and Mike Nichols.

Best Actor:
Once again 3 out of 5. The surprises were Clint Eastwood, Don Cheadle was an outside pic. I would like to voice a big bitch right now: Paul Giamatti did not get a nomination for Sideways. This was a robbery, since he had one of the most touching and funny performances of the year.

Best Actress:

4 out of 5 baby. The surprise: Catalina Sandino Moreno for Maria Full of Grace, and deservedly so. It was a tough performance, and heartbreaking.

Best Supporting Actor:

4 out of 5. The surprise: Alan Alda for the Aviator. I love him an am pleased. If Thomas Hayden Church hadn't been nominated Id be rooting for him.

Best Supporting Actress:

4 out of 5 again. The surprise: Sophie Okonedo of Hotel Rwanda. This movie will be coming to the Kentucky Theatre in the next month, and it should live up to its hype.

The big shocker for me was Foreign Film. The Motorcycle Diaries, nor A very Long Engagement, got nominations. The did get nominations in the technical categories, as did Passion of the Christ.

So, its looking like The Aviator is the favorite with 11 nominations. I expect several surprises.

Life deficiency

I've been told that severe anemia feels like all the blood has drained out of the body. I think instead of iron deficiency, I'm having a life deficiency. All the joy I have feels like its been sucked away. The cold weather, along with the fibromyalgia and work just has drained me. I haven't been this weary in along time. Seems I have reached a reconciliation with Dan, for now, and friendship is as far as it goes. I have reached the stage where I really don't care if I leave the apartment on weekends. Pathetic. On a high note, there is a huge party next weekend and I have a honest to goddess date on Thursday. Maybe one more week will get by without me killing someone.

Poetry alert

pictures of Spain
the gentlest of throbbings
My Dearest…
finger pressing, gently
now the throbbing
delicately flushed
the leaves and photographs
of Spain; the most delicate
of throbbings; the rarest
of petals and a solitary
pearl; My Dearest…
these pictures of Spain
herein enclosed; the slightest
warmth; hands and fingers
alone; gently and with
great tenderness; My Dearest…
this most pleasant of throbbings.
And pictures of Spain.

-Scott Banville 2005-

Cool Quote

"my night train sippin', cult flippin', white punk jumpin', rum runnin', bathtub thumpin' approach to music could only be cool and nothing else really dog."
Jack White

Another Golden Globes and Oscar Race.

Well another Golden Globes has passed by. I was pleasantly surprised at the variety of winners this year.It looks like its setting up to be an exciting Oscars this year. The movies coming out on top look like Ray, Closer, The Aviator, Million Dollar Baby, and Sideways. Acting nominations will go out easily to Hillary Swank and Jamie Foxx, both winners. Also Leo Decaprio and Annette Bening. I was hoping that The Motorcycle Diaries would have won, but they will be nominated at the Oscars. Its funny that I pay attention so much to this. The Globes are the biggest indicator for Oscar time. My possible list of nominations for Oscar Time.....
Best Movie:
The Aviator
Sideways
Million Dollar Baby
Kinsey
Ray
outside shots:
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Closer

Director:
Martin Scorsese
Clint Eastwood
Alexander Payne
Marc Forrester
Mike Nichols
outside shots: possibly Quentin Tarantino

Best Actor:
Leo Decaprio
Paul Giamatti
Liam Neeson
Johnny Dep
Jamie Foxx
outside shots: Don Cheadle, Jim Carrey, Jude Law

Best Actress:
Anette Bening
Hillary Swank
Imelda Staunton
Kate Winslet
Nicole Kidman
outside shots: Uma Thurman, Emmy Rossum (GOD I hope not Renee Zelleweger!!)
and Julia Roberts

Best Supporting Actor:
Thomas Hayden Church
Morgan Freeman
Clive Owen
Jamie Foxx
David Carradine

Best Supporting Actress:
Virginia Madsen
Cate Blanchet
Laura Linney
Natalie Portman
Merryl Streep

Those are my guesses. January 25 the nominations come out and I will see how good I am at this lol.

LYRICS ALERT!!

How
-Lisa Loeb, Firecracker, 1997-

I didn't come this far for you to make this hard for me.
and now you want to ask me “how”?
It’s like - how does your heart beat, and why do you breathe?
How does your heart beat, and why do you breathe?

Why did you come here?
You weren't invited.
You were on the outside - Stay on the outside.
And now you want to ask me “why”?
It's like - why does your heart beat, and how do you cry?
How does your heart beat?

And there are some things that I like to figure out.
There are some things that I can do without -
like you, and your letters that go on forever,
And you, and the people that were never friends.

With all the things that you could be,
you never could learn how to be me.
And now you want to ask me “how”?.
It’s like - how does your heart beat, and why do you breathe?
How does your heart beat, and why do you breathe?

Random acts of kindness

I just now got an instant message from someone locally who reads Ponderings. He said, " it's poetry. In so many ways. And emotionally, so incredibly intense, it feels it could scorch a person." I felt a wave of..I don't know. Flattery? Fear? Shame and guilt and pride? Humble and bewildered is a good way to describe it. Holy hell, people actually read this and get something from it? From me and my crazy life and ideas? Since I consider the written word to be the closest path into a persons mind, it is a bit ironic that someone else likes and appreciates my thoughts. It reminds me I make myself vunerable by writing. That's the point. I am a recluse by nature and astrology (Cancer with moon in Aquarius). This is my way to let people in without physical danger. But which is more dangerous? Someone in your physical space, or mental? Somewhere I read that one word, like a pebble thrown in a body of water, reverberates outward and you never know where,or what, the ripples or word will touch. This week has been a tough one, mentally an physically. So thank you, all who have written and IMed me that like and appreciate my blog. You have made me put into perspective everything around me, and feel better about my world. Thank you.

A pain meds rant.....

Ok, being the dumbass that I am, I ran for the first time today after being off almost 2 weeks. Guess what? I FELL!! So now my whole right side is sore. So now I'm on some pretty good meds, ands I'm going to ramble for awhile on any goddamn subject I chose. Might be yearning is the subject of tonight's rant.

I am yearning for a certain man. A very very specific one. A man who is full of magic and energy and innocence. One who loves with every pore and cell he has. Passion as deep and wide and fathomless as the sea. He opens his mouth and poetry and jazz pours forth. This man is in my very deepest soul. I can taste him in my mouth and smell him on my clothes. I feel his skin holding mine. I read his words and cry and rejoice. I strain to hear his voice on every memory of sound. I ache for another soul I will never have. My days are empty wasting away living in my dreams. My life in my mind with him are the only true things that make my life bearable. This man would never notice me on the street, he would pass me by. I run and work out thinking some day he may see me and I want him to see the best I am. Songs pour forth, cause someday me may hear me an be touched. I want to write epics so one day he might read and he may be healed. Art worthy of the ages I want to paint so one day he might absorb them and be transformed, or transfixed. I want so much to scream through the ether "I AM HERE!!!FIND ME!!!" Please find me.....There are so many of us yearning, for impossible ethereal things. That can be solved by one look, or sigh, one caress on the cheek.....

Altered lyrics alert

Its no big secret that I LOVE old blues. I also appreciate bands that revive it. That being said, The White Stripes version of "Death Letter" kicks ass. They even did a partial version at last years Grammy's. I finally got to hear Son House's version, and man Jack left out a lot of lyrics. Here in their entirety, is the Son House version of "Death Letter", with my own notations on what was left out...


"We were always singing in the fields. Not real singing, you know, just hollerin', but we made up our songs about things that was happening to us at the time, and I think that's where the Blues started."

-- Son House --

All lyrics on this site are for private study, scholarship, or research purposes only. Read the copyright notice before printing/copying anything from this page.


Death Letter

by Eddie James "Son" House, Jr.
recording of 19 {?}
from , copyright notice

I got a letter this mornin, how do you reckon it read?
It said, "Hurry, hurry, yeah, your love is dead"
I got a letter this mornin, I say how do you reckon it read?
You know, it said, "Hurry, hurry, how come the gal you love is dead?"

So, I grabbed up my suitcase, and took off down the road
When I got there she was layin on a coolin' board
I grabbed up my suitcase, and I said and I took off down the road
I said, but when I got there she was already layin on a coolin' board

Well, I walked up right close, looked down in her face
Said, the good ol' gal got to lay here 'til the Judgment Day {not in WS version}
I walked up right close, and I said I looked down in her face
I said the good ol' gal, she got to lay here 'til the Judgment Day

Looked like there was 10,000 people standin' round the buryin' ground
I didn't know I loved her 'til they laid her down
Looked like 10,000 were standin' round the buryin' ground
You know I didn't know I loved her 'til they damn laid her down

Lord, have mercy on my wicked soul
I wouldn't mistreat you baby, for my weight in gold {not in WS version}
I said, Lord, have mercy on my wicked soul
You know I wouldn't mistreat nobody, baby, not for my weight in gold

Well, I folded up my arms and I slowly walked away
I said, "Farewell honey, I'll see you on Judgment Day" {not in WS version}
Ah, yeah, oh, yes, I slowly walked away
I said, "Farewell, farewell, I'll see you on the Judgment Day"

You know I went in my room, I bowed down to pray
The blues came along and drove my spirit away {not in WS version}
I went in my room, I said I bowed down to pray
I said the blues came along and drove my spirit away

You know I didn't feel so bad, 'til the good ol' sun went down
I didn't have a soul to throw my arms around
I didn't feel so bad, 'til the good ol' sun went down
You know, I didn't have nobody to throw my arms around

I loved you baby, like I love myself
You don't have me, you won't have nobody else {not in WS version}
I loved you baby, better than I did myself
I said now if you don't have me, I didn't want you to have nobody else

You know, it's hard to love someone that don't love you
Ain't no satisfaction, don't care what in the world you do
Yeah, it's hard to love someone that don't love you
You know it don't look like satisfaction, don't care what in the world you do

Got up this mornin', just about the break of day
A-huggin' the pillow where she used to lay
Got up this mornin', just about the break of day
A-huggin' the pillow where my good gal used to lay

Got up this mornin', feelin' round for my shoes
You know, I must-a had them old walkin' blues {not in WS version}
Got up this mornin', feelin' round for my shoes
Yeah, you know bout that, I must-a had them old walkin' blues

You know, I cried last night and all the night before
Gotta change my way a livin', so I don't have to cry no more {not in WS version}
You know, I cried last night and all the night before
Gotta change my way a livin', you see, so I don't have to cry no more

Ah, hush, thought I heard her call my name
If it wasn't so loud and so nice and plain {not in WS version}
Ah, yeah
Mmmmmm

Well, listen, whatever you do
This is one thing, honey, I tried to get along with you {not in WS version}
Yes, no tellin' what you do
I done everything I could, just to try and get along with you

Well, the minutes seemed like hours, hours they seemed like days
It seemed like my good, old gal outta done stopped her low-down ways {not in WS version}
Minutes seemed like hours, hours they seemed like days
Seems like my good, old gal outta done stopped her low-down ways

You know, love's a hard ol' fall, make you do things you don't wanna do
Love sometimes leaves you feeling sad and blue {not in WS version}
You know, love's a hard ol' fall, make you do things you don't wanna do
Love sometimes make you feel sad and blue

--------

Now I am aware of two things: 1) The White Stripes are known for their short running songs, and 2) this song is friggin long in its original state. TWS also shortened Blind Willie McTell's "Your Southern Can is Mine". But I hope that once in their careers Jack and Meg can do full versions of some of the old Blues classics they have covered. They could do them so much more justice.

Time Game

My friend Clint just had a nifty thing on his blog. Start at 25 years ago and go by five on where you were when...
25 Years Ago:
I believe I was in Centralia IL. We lived on a farm, and my dad I think was working in the coal mines there.I was in second grade. I remember the landscape the best, very flat, very cold.

20 years ago:
I was in Inez KY. My parents had been divorced for years. We lived with my grandparents and extended family who ignored the fact I was depressed, and just heaped emotional abuse on me my sister did not get. That was the year I tried to commit suicide 3 times. Eventually I just isolated myself from all people and stayed save in my little cancer shell. Most memories were surrounded by crushes, and a very bleak grey landscape, with mountains. The saving grace was Frank Baldridge, the academic team coach that saw more than what everyone else saw and expected more. Feeling a bit of worth saved me.

15 Years ago:
I was at Marshall University, Huntington WV. I was in the midst of my first real love, Shawn Gainer. Tall and skinny ( my first run in with skinny white boy syndrome) he was the tortured artist type who smoked and drank too much. He was also a year younger. I was once again depressed, but trying to fight it. I couldn't concentrate on classes to all my focus was on him. It was also the first time I encountered witchcraft. Later that year, I would go through my first spectacular breakup, hospitalizing and last suicide attempt. And the only thing that saved me was Drawing Down the Moon by Margot Adler. It was the first time in my life I felt I wasn't all alone.

10 years ago:
I was an undergrad at University of Kentucky. I was doing Society for Creative Anachronisms almost all my spare time. The depression was there but I was in the midst of trying all the drugs I could to control it. That Feburary at a SCA event in Cincinnati, OH I met my friend's dad John. He was really nice and helped me climb stairs in the big dress I was wearing. That May John would move to Lexington to stay with his son for only two weeks, he said. That September we were married.

5 Years Ago:
We were living in Portland, OR. John was working at Shriners Hospital and I was at the Oregon Zoo. We were both getting a case of wanderlust again so we applied to work at Grand Teton National park and were hired. We moved that May. John was weak that whole summer and had a lot of accidents because he was tired and dizzy. We moved again at the end of the season to Key West FL. We had 2 normal weeks, then John started getting weaker. He was diagnosed as having Leukemia after waking up with blue legs, then finding his body wasn't making blood. I descended into a hell of cargiving and stress and worry, and ballooned to 300lbs.

1 Year ago:
I was working at UK telephone operations. I was bored and trying to get another job, and did at the grad school. I was finishing up a very educational relationship with a dom. I was also empowered by that relationship to start to exercise, and began to run. Dan also started calling again, then wanting to get romantic but not date.LOL

Now:
I'm still living in Lexington. Still at the grad school. I've met someone but of course its complicated. I'm running and weight training, but have the flu. I cant afford to take classes or much of anything. I'm hoping the new friend might have ideas to change that.

Lyrics Alert!!!!

Changes in latitudes, Changes in attitudes
1978 Jimmy Buffett



I took off for a weekend last month
Just to try and recall the whole year.
All of the faces and all of the places,
wonderin' where they all disappeared.
I didn't ponder the question too long;
I was hungry and went out for a bite.
Ran into a chum with a bottle of rum,
and we wound up drinkin' all night.

It's those changes in latitudes,
changes in attitudes nothing remains quite the same.
With all of our running and all of our cunning,
If we couldn't laugh, we would all go insane.

[Chorus:]
These changes in latitudes, changes in attitudes,
Nothing remains quite the same.
Through all of the islands and all of the highlands,
If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane

Reading departure signs in some big airport
Reminds me of the places I've been.
Visions of good times that brought so much pleasure
Makes me want to go back again.
If it suddenly ended tomorrow,
I could somehow adjust to the fall.
Good times and riches and son of a bitches,
I've seen more than I can recall

[Chorus]

I think about Paris when I'm high on red wine,
I wish I could jump on a plane.
And so many nights I just dream of the ocean.
God, I wish I was sailin' again.
Oh, yesterdays are over my shoulder,
So I can't look back for too long.
There's just too much to see waiting in front of me,
and I know that I just can't go wrong
with these...

[Chorus]

Ok some thoughts about a lifestyle correction.

I had a surreal New Years party. It was one of the swing parties I go to, and I was a hostess being the social butterfly. Got really drunk really fast and stoned by ball dropping time. I found out that apparently the new social etiquette for "Wanna Fuck" is a buck ass naked guy standing over you rattling a condom wrapper. And for the upteenth time at one of these parties, no orgasm. Oh don't misunderstand, there was a lot of pleasure, but I just couldn't cum. Then, after having a huge orgasm at home with the new sex toy, I actually took time to ponder something a friend asked me that I had no answer for at the time, "which is better, BDSM or Swinging?" Both supplied for me outlets to my sexual curiosity. Both have been huge learning experiences about myself. So I asked the friend to clarify the question, and he meant, quite literally, which produced the most orgasms. That was an easy answer, BDSM. But the answer did leave me wondering why. And after analyzing, I came up with an answer of my own: Intimacy.

In BDSM, you absolutely must have a partner you trust implicitly. If you don't know someone, you really shouldn't let them hog tie you to the bed. You must trust them to respect your limits, or gently push them. The Dom ( or Domme if she's female) and the sub have to dance an exquisitely intricate dance to get it right. Oh, but when you do the results are incredible. I learned more about my sexuality in the 4 months I had a dom than I had the past years of my life. I realized how free you can be if you just let go. Letting go frees you from the absolute shit and stress you have, because for that little while, you do not have to make a decision, or think. You do what you are told.

Now swinging has taught me lessons about myself as well. It has freed me of a great deal of my body issues. If you are on a bed with 7 other naked people, all body types are represented. No reason for shyness. It also taught me a lot about some marriages. It is a bit strange having sex with a married guy with his wife either watching or having sex with someone else nearby. However it is cool to watch a married couple make love to each other, cause you can see the level of intimacy that the years have built. They know where each sweet spot is on their bodies, where to touch and not. We had a strip contest at the party and no one stripped by themselves; they all striped as couples. Its easy to do if someone you know that well is up there with you. I stripped as well (going back to the body issue thing) with Mr. Cool, and it was fun but awkward cause we didn't know the way to move with each other. The married couples certainly did.

Both BDSM and Swinging have their bad spots. I didn't particularly enjoy the humiliation part of BDSM, since I had too many years of therapy to belittle myself for someone else. The pain aspect wasn't fun at times either. With swinging, you normally end up with a partner who has no idea what you like, or how to touch. Its like the first time with a boyfriend ALL the time. I wont lie-I had two partners on New Years. Both passionate, both fairly good. One was a different race, a first for me. But they both liked fingering, which I don't and had to remind them of a few times ( it hurts unless done properly, which it rarely is, but that's a personal preference) but I didn't seem to get through. I woke up that morning after 2 hrs of sleep with a hangover, which is usual. What wasn't was the overwhelming emptiness I felt inside. I wanted to chalk it up to several factors: the hangover, stuff going on with Mr. Cool, and the fact I loath New Years Day worse than Christmas but not as much as Valentines Day. I was PMSing and worried about shit going on existentially. But I boiled it down to the fact that as all things that catch my interest sexually usually run their course. And maybe Swinging has too.

Intimacy is not something I've had in many a moon. There is just something about having one person that shares individual sexual experiences with you than no one else knows about. Its like a secret you share and the world has to but out. I have two bed buddy relationships I have this with to a degree. I don't see either of them regularly. Once a month for each, and I do things with each that I do with no one else. These are the only lovers I have allowed into my private batcave ( apartment) in months. Each one I am a different kind of lover with. The problem is that I don't see either regularly enough to build the degree of intimacy I think I am starting to need. So this might be another new years thing to add to the list: find more consistent lover, one that doesn't smother but I see more often. As for swinging, I might go to one more party, maybe two to confirm my decision that I'm over it. Who knows.....

Well it's 2005 Happy F...ing New Year

I survived another calendar year. I re-united with Dan, then dumped his ass. I changed jobs for what I thought was the better, then learned differently. I fell in love all over again with art and writing. I really hope the next calendar year is less stressful and more financially secure. I want to live and not simply exist..that probably will be the overall plan.

Innocence Lost

I finally caught the episode of 100 Greatest Metal moments, 20-1. There was a website mentioned, Metal Sludge ( www.metal-sludge.com ) a place where groupies have the last laugh by ranking the quality, and yes quantity, of various rock stars from the 80's and 90's. Mostly hair bands from the golden age of groupiedom was mentioned, the 1980's. I should have known better. I should have left well enough alone with my adolescent sexual fantasy, but this was like a car crash that begs to be rubbernecked at. Now in the early 90's I did a bit of backstage stuff. never fucked anyone, just smoked their dope. A few of these tidbits were no great surprise...some blew my mind. The dick chart was a revelation to say the least. Groupies give the lowdown, good bad and laughable. The fact that Tommy Lee sets the standard for length and girth is not a newsflash. The man can steer a boat with no hands. However, some who can either compare to him, or fail to measure up, surprised me. For example, and I quote;" Glenn Danzig / Danzig, The bottom line is his cock is just like him, short." ARGHHH I love him, and really didn't want to know that...too late! Another of my 80's faves Don Dokken, fared better:"Don has a good looking, nice sized dick and could go ALL night long. He will make sure you get off and is willing to do whatever it takes for it to happen. However, he will treat you as a prize the next morning and show you to the roadies like the catch of the day. Can be kind of crude that way!" A few current popular guys were mentioned, Like Fred Durst of Limp Biskit, supposedly a notorious ladies man in the press:"Fred is an average joe, or should I say an average Fred. Nothing too big but nothing too small. He loves to eat pussy and loves to get oral in return. He's a little on the kinky side and he really loves the freaky girls. Tries to use the press to get date and frequently comes off like a creepy stalker." A few of these reviews reconfirmed my liking of some rockers that my friends made fun of me for, Flea of Red Hot Chili Peppers:"Flea may seem the scruffy second choice to Anthony, but he's very attractive and intense in one hard compact package. He is highly intelligent, sensitive, a great writer and has a beautiful, extremely rock hard cock of well proportioned length and width. Can stay rock hard for a while. Incredibly intense building and fluidity." HA, my taste in rock stars has been reinforced by the pros! LMAO. Anyway to be fair, actual endowment isn't the only thing mentioned. These ladies also mention who are creeps and who are the really really hot ones that are nice and treat groupies like humans. If you are like me, in your early 30's and have an urge to flirt vicariously with your sexual fantasies from teenhood, this is the site for you.

Poetry alert!!!

AFTER LOVE
-Maxine Kumin-

Afterwards, the compromise.
Bodies resume their boundaries.

These legs, for instance mine.
Your arms take you back in.

Spoons of our fingers, lips
admit their ownership.

The bedding yawns, a door
blows aimlessly ajar

and overhead, a plane
singsongs coming down.

Nothing has changed, except
there was a moment when

the wolf, the mongering wolf
who stands outside the self

lay lightly down, and slept."

Swept Away..

You are sitting in your home close to the shore. Your family makes its living by the sea, for generations. You could be cooking, taking care of children. You could be preparing to work in one of the resorts. It is early. There might be several generations living in this house with you, grandparents, parents, children. The sound begins like a hissing, you think it is just a car or the wind. It then begins to sound like a growl, then a rumble. Then a roar..As your world explodes around you. A wall of water hits your fragile home. You get tumbled into debris and are hitting things as you are flung inland. You're in darkness till your head clears water. You don't recognize where you are. Wood, steel, and the remains of many homes float around you. You are being pummeled by what is floating around you. A hand floats amongst the wreckage, you grab it to realize it is a family member. You try to hang on but the surging water tears it away. You grab onto a tree as the water recedes back to the shore. Pulling as hard as you can, you manage to pull yourself onto some branches, out of the danger. For the first time you see, truly see what has happened. Houses, places that have always been there your whole life-gone. Wreckage, piled on top of each other, scattered around you. Then you start to see what else lies in the debris: bodies. Hundreds it seems, so many tangled arms and limbs and torsos. Faces can sometimes be seen, most are battered and cut.
You recognize some, none are family that you can tell. You find it hard to breathe. There is pain all over. Ribs and limbs probably are broken. But you are alive, and in the following days you wish you were not.
The day after the bodies start to pile up. It is hot, and the smell begins. There is no electricity, food or fresh water. Corpses float on shore like seaweed, and will do so for weeks. There is always the fear of another great wave with every tide. You work to help carry the bodies, hoping to find your family. You might find one, the rest may never be found. The survivors start to get sick from the lack of clean water, and from the rot of bodies. The government is overwhelmed. It is a poor place you live. All you can think about is survival, and the essential questions. Why you? Why them? Now what?

I survived another one...

I just got back from the backwoods from anonther xmas in Martin County. It will go down as another reminder whyI left in the first place. One uncle's current girlfriend was fighting with the ex, including a fight with pistol whipping. My grandfather still is a cranky old fart. More details to come.....

my fave Xmas song

Santa Baby
written by J. Javits and P. Springer

Santa baby, slip a sable under the tree, for me
I've been an awful good girl
Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight

Santa baby, an out-of-space convertible too, light blue
I'll wait up for you dear
Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight

Think of all the fun I've missed
Think of all the fellas that I haven't kissed
Next year I could be oh so good

If you'd check off my Christmas list Boo doo bee doo
Santa honey, I wanna yacht and really that'sNot a lot
I've been an angel all year
Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight

Santa cutie, there's one thing I really do need, the deed
To a platinum mine
Santa cutie, and hurry down the chimney tonight

Santa baby, I'm filling my stocking with a duplex, and checks
Sign your 'X' on the line
Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight

Come and trim my Christmas tree
With some decorations bought at Tiffany's
I really do believe in you
Let's see if you believe in me Boo doo bee doo

Santa baby, forgot to mention one little thing, a ring
I don't mean a phone
Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight

Hurry down the chimney tonight
Hurry down the chimney tonight

Not yet the end of the story...

An open letter to Clint...
We've had a short, but eventful friendship. You were there at the beginning of my Blog Journey, then only person I know who reads it occasionally. You inspired me to write, and write better. We only got to meet twice: once at Lynaughs, when I was fighting a migrane, and Ramsey's, when I was fighting off a cold. It never seemed to put you off that I was a witch, or poly, or just a plain freak. I enjoyed the fact you treated me as an intellectual equal even though I know I am a flake lol. The biggest thing I admire you for is being to deal with your depression and follow your hearts desire. And for you to pack up and go from frigid Lexington to insanely cold Chicago for that heart's desire proves you have a depth of courage I will probably never find, but am inspired to try. I wish you and Robin every happiness imaginable to humans, and don't forget your buddies you left behind here. Blessed be to you.
Affectionately,
zezrie.

Religion and sex are strange bedfellows....

Spent time with Mr. Cool this weekend. This man is a devout Christian, I am an equally devout witch. We were talking possibilities as all couples do, an he stated he could not marry outside his faith. Ok, I thought, I can respect that, I really don't have an urge to marry. Nor would I force my faith on another as a requirement to have a relationship with me. Now, here's the kicker: he said since we could not marry we could just shack up and have babies....
The riddle is: does this or does this not go against everything Baptists believe? He would rather live in sin and have kids out of wedlock than do the common sense thing and just get married first? The of course it dawns on me that like many fellow Christians ( not all, but many), he bends the rules that he thinks others should follow. All Humanity does this, to assuage guilt instead of just taking the step of being true to ones' self despite what archaic, unrealistic religious laws dictate. So I sighed inwardly, smiled at him outwardly, and just said maybe.....

A shocking announcement

This is an announcement for all those well meaning couples who want me to be part of a poly triad with them: I am not Bi. At one point I tried to talk myself into being at least curious, but that too has diminished. Women just don't turn me on. Now, if a woman wants to go down on me, fine, I will close my eyes and pretend its Russell Crowe. As for me doing the eating, this is an idea I just cant wrap my mind ( or tongue) around. I want to be part of triad, but with two men, not a couple. I just don't seem to relate well to other women. I don't understand the need to fight over men. I've recently seen a woman try to compete with me over a guy. She was catty, vindictive, petty, and just plain nasty. I walked away from both of them, woman and guy. I have enough drama in my life from the daily ins and outs, I don't need it over a guy. There are 5.2 BILLION humans on this planet, half are men. Now granted I wont be attracted to all of them, but there are enough around for there to be no need to fight. I just don't like to compete. If I live with two guys, hey there's a spare. Do I get jealous? Sure I do, but that has more to do with my own insecurities than worrying about the guy leaving. This happened with Dan this summer. I got tired of being put second for another woman, so I left him to her. It might be psychological: I will not compete with anyone over something that is not worth fighting over. If a guy wants me, he knows where I am. He wants another, fine go be with her.
Maybe that's why men like me. I don't give them a hard time over silly stuff. I don't smother. Rather, I like my space, and its a rare man who wants to smother back. I let them do their own thing. Like I said if they want to be with me, they know where I am. I'm not offended easily. I am moody, and some men are freaky about that, its why I live alone. So, I wont be part of a FFM triangle anytime soon. Just thought I'd let you know

The freakiest movie I've seen all year...And I watch strange movies...

Here is an admission I have never made here but friends and people who have actually slept with me know this as truth: I am an insomniac. I don't fall asleep easily, and I wake up 15 times a night. So I know what it feels like to go without proper sleep. That being said, I hadn't meant to go to the Kentucky Theatre last night to see a movie, but went anyway to take a chance on a movie I had heard nothing about. I'm glad and creeped out I did.
The Machinist ( http://www.machinistmovie.com/index2.asp ) shows just ho far into the depths of hell a human being can go with no sleep. Christian Bale, also excellent in American Psycho , is astonishing as Trevor Resnik, a machinist who has not slept in over a YEAR. He has no idea why and his life us unraveling at an accelerated place. He starts to see things all around him, his apartment, his work, and at his hooker girlfriend's place (played by a very appealing and not looking her age Jennifer Jason Leigh). His paranoia is rampant, and forgets simple things, like paying bills. He starts to see a guy named Ivan, a sort of evil shadow with no fingers, who supposedly works with him on third shift. It is as he's starting at this supposed person that a coworker gets his hand caught in a cutting bench because if his distraction. At the same time he starts to date a waitress with a little boy who gets sick in his company at an amusement park. The note he leaves to himself start to change, with a hang man on a post-it that changes every time he sees it. The most horrible part of Trevor's life is his appearance: his plummeting weight, showing the physical deterioration of no sleep. I have often heard the the phrase of looking like Hell before breakfast, but this guy is emaciated, Holocaust style. What Rene Zellweger did for actors gaining weight for a part, Christian Bale should do for extreme weight loss.
The movie quickly shows Trevor's speeding descent into hell. Directed by Brad Anderson (Happy Accidents) and written by Scot Kozar, the movie drags us along on the ride. Everything is set in greys. The cinematography is set so that the viewer feels as lost as Trevor does. He chases Ivan in a red sports car, and when he goes to the cops with the plate number, they tell him its his car. He starts to see either Ivan or pieces of his clothing everywhere, making him turn on everyone. Trevor even cut Ivan's throat in one scene, and when he tries to dump the body, the body rolls out of the carpet its placed in, but there is no body there literally. Scot Kozar is the writer also responsible for Texas Chainsaw Massacre and The Amityville Horror, so he knows how to literally creep the viewer out. But the end of the movie I was creeping in my own skin, an as exhausted as Trevor was. This movie is not easy to watch, but satisfying.

What zezrie wants for Yuletide if she had wealthy clientele..

A fellow blogging friend of mine was recently bitching on his blog about other bloggers putting useless lists on theirs (you know who you are !). Thus, to annoy him further, I am putting a list on mine. If I were a high class callgirl, these are the 10 things Id want for Yuletide., in no order. Hell for that matter, and generous fan of the blog can give me these too, I'm not proud.

The house on the corner of High and Rose.
A baby blue Ipod
An Ibook to go with the Ipod.
A house in Key West
A fully stocked studio
All expenses paid opportunity to finish my education
A years supply of Nike Shox TLs ( three pairs)
Unlimited spa visits for a year
Plastic surgery
Trip around the world..

And the 11th, peace on earth and goodwill toward all..but won't be getting that either.

Worshipping at the altar of psychobilly...

0n Friday night the heavens of rock and roll opened and The Rev. Horton Heat descended on The Dame. The good Rev. Has been a mainstay of my music collection since the early 90's. I didn't get to see him this past Feb. Because of the flu. This time I was nursing a hip injury from running ( actually a repeat of a injury from summer), but was determined to go if I had to crawl..And just about did. I held up the side of the bar right where the bands go backstage..Best place in the Dame.
Split Lip Rayfield started the night, a hot rockabilly trio from Kansas City. The hurled rockabilly bluegrass at us for a sold hour with no let up. The standing bass player's instrument was made out of what appearing to me as an old car radiator with a two strings attached..But he wailed on it. There was a couple in front of me, very involved with their music who swayed and jumped the whole set-it was fun to watch. Split Lip Rayfield will be back to the Dame, and I shall be there.
The Rev. came out about 11:30, by the time my hip started screaming. This was the very first time I had seen The Dame sold completely out. There were about 500 people there, conservatively. The music started, and crowd started moving in unison. Beer was flying through the air and no one cared at that point. Horton was dressed like Porter Wagner on acid-dayglow green with purple flames. Jimbo Wallace was on upright bass and Scott Churilla was on drums, dressed in black mechanic shirts. And as usual, all three leveled the building. They played old faves like Wiggle Stick, Big Blue Car, and Low Flying Plane. They did a takeoff on the instrumental Tequila called Marijuana and the crowd went nuts. The band covered swing, punkabilly, and country seamlessly from one song to the next. My only real disappointment was that Rev. Didn't do Sermon on the Jimbo at the end, but did do Psycobilly Freakout for the encore. I left the concert in a great deal of pain and covered in beer, but otherwise musically satisfied.

Biological clocks suck.

Lexington has a water problem, and it has nothing to do with ownership of the company. Today at the KY Clinic, as far as the eye could see, were babies. I'm not talking about annoying toddlers....But dozens of babies under the age of one, like I love them. Thus my conclusion was that pregnancy was in the water sometime last Feb, and somehow I didn't drink. The biological clock fired up, starting at a soft wrist watch tick to a screaming Big Ben Level blast. It drives me nuts too. At this particular place in time, there is not a man in my life I would even contemplate having a child with. Yet, there all the babies were perfect and sweet and loving. I am fully aware I cant even take care of myself properly, let alone another life. The yearning is still there...
For some crazed reason, I want to have a child the old fashioned way--with a husband. I grew up with a single mother, and saw how hard it was on her everyday to keep us afloat. And we were brats that didn't make it easier. I want to go through the experience of getting pregnant with a man who adores me, who wants a child as badly as I do. I want a child that is the reflection of love two people have with each other. This man has to be as excited with every step of the process. Now I know that it is possible that this might happen. Whether this is probable I rather much doubt. I'm 33, and yes I know there are stupid women popping out babies at 57. Not this girl. I wont have a child after 40. So that leaves me 7 years. Yes its possible.....
I will say this: I wont feel incomplete without a baby. Disappointed but not incomplete.

Two Faces

It always amazes me when I find out the truth about people. I always wonder why we all feel the need to put up a false front. As a race are we really that fragile, that afraid? Ive had a man professing his love for me, then tonight I find out what he truly is. It didnt hurt me, I really do not have feelings for this man. I like him but not love him. It bothers me more that Ive lost Dan's friendship. The amazing thing about this guy is that he tried to use honesty as a selling point with me. It just confounds me. Ive been lied to by men...Im not any different from any other woman. I trust people till they give me a reason not to. This man just crossed the line. I didnt trust him really, he was too good to be true. Im not a child, so any men who read this...dont insult my intelligence and you will be just fine.

World AIDS Day...In my corner of the planet

I want to talk about Jerry for a moment. Jerry was my parents friend for 12 years. He worked with my father in the coal mines in Colorado. He was married to a much younger woman, Joanne, and they lived with three small children that my sister and I were older than. He had been born in France, and grew up in Missouri. He had been a Navy Seal in Viet Nam, and was a black belt in karate. This man spoke at least languages, and was the first real painter I had ever met. He got me interested in art, and Edith Piaf. Jerry went back to school and became a dentist in the mid 80s, eventually becoming an instructor in a dental school. And sometime in the 80s, caught HIV off of a patient. He died in the mid 90's.
I'm sharing this with you because I think every story of every victim in this pandemic is important. This disease is not faceless, sexless, or anonymous. It knows no borders, either of money, race, gender, or age. The powers that be would like to us to think that AIDS doesn't effect Americans anymore, that abstinence programs work and the need for easily available condoms are not necessary. This country has to wake the hell up and realize that this is serious, the whole world is being rocked from it, and to stop living in lala land. Before it's too late, if it isn't already.
Jerry would be in his 60s now. His kids are grown, he has grandchildren he never knew. His wife lives with her HIV under control, something he could not do. We have the technology to slow it down all over the world. Ingnorance is the worst perpetrator of this disease. Let us all band together loner than one day a year to stop it.

The first cool thing of Yuletide has arrived...Besides the damn weather...

Tonight is the official start of the holiday TV season: Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer comes on at 8PM. Call me sentimental, silly, or childish if you must, but this time of year is only made tolerable by Xmas specials. Memories of my mom making fudge and us watching Rudolph, Frosty, Grinch ( the original, not the piece of crap movie) are some of the best memories I have of childhood. If I have to deal with all the horse shit that otherwise comes with this month, you better believe I'm enjoying my xmas cartoons with no guilt. I mean, I'm doing Yuletide in my own way, starting my own traditions, trying not to fall into the commercialism of it. So tonight at 8 I will be in front of the TV with popcorn, purple fuzzy blanky and the whole crew from the Island of Misfit Toys...never too late to have a happy childhood.

Wine for dummies

This is a funny guide to wine tasting from the website for the movie Sideways....enjoy...


http://www2.foxsearchlight.com/sideways/


"Wine Tasting is an educated art that combines experience, knowledge and the cultured use of the three senses involved: sight, smell, and taste. Though it takes many years of practice to recognize certain wines and their area of origin solely by taste, once you know the basics of Wine Tasting, anyone can find it quite enjoyable.

Preparation
As you begin your journey into the wonderful world of wine, it is recommended that you keep a journal of the various wines you taste. This way, you will not only remember what you have tasted, but you may also compare it to other wines, track wines that you purchase or would like to purchase, and have a resource when describing wines to others in a pseudo-educated and pretentious way. If you so choose, you may also save wine bottle labels to remind you of the wine bottle appearance if you are searching for it later, since you may have been in a drunken stupor while initially viewing the wine bottle.

Make sure that your materials and environment are ideally suited for tasting. Your tapered wine glasses should be dry, clean and not washed in detergent, which may distract from the wine's aroma and flavor. The ideal tasting environment is a light-filled neutral setting, free of distracting odors such as a call girl's perfume or scented candles. It would also be helpful to have a white backdrop to hold the wine up against to gain a neutral perspective of the wine's color. Your best buddy's dirt-free white t-shirt will do just fine. You should not eat before tasting, as the flavors of your food may affect the tasting experience. Always taste white wines first, then rosés, then reds.

The Process: Sight, Aroma & Flavor
1) Spit out your gum into an appropriate trash receptacle.

2) Fill the glass to 1/3 full with your chosen wine.
No more, no less.

3) Hold the glass up at a 45 degree angle and examine the wine against the light and look for color and clarity. White wines start off on the light side with a straw or greenish hue, and as it ages, it becomes a dark golden or even brown color. Red wines are dark purple-red, and as they age, they can become a lighter red-brick to brown. The wine should be clear and bright, not cloudy or hazy.

4) Swirl the glass. Visually observe the body of the wine, and check for "Good legs," which may indicate a thicker body and a higher alcohol content or sweetness level. Swirling also releases the aroma of the wine or "bouquet."

5) Now stick your nose in your glass (don't be afraid to get in there) and smell the wine in a deep yet gentle whiff. The smell of a wine is called its "nose." Contemplate the condition (gentle, musty, earthy), intensity (weak or full) and character (fruit or flower) of the smell and make a note of it. Your nose is more sensitive than your mouth, and can pick-up on subtleties. Therefore, spend as much time as necessary determining the intricacies of what you smell.

6) The taste of the wine is known as its "palate," which you will determine next. Take a small mouthful and allow the wine to hit every part of your mouth, enveloping all of your taste buds. Don't be embarrassed to swish around a bit like you are using mouthwash. Check for Sweetness/Dryness, Acidity, Tannin, Weight or Body and Fruit.

7) Use your spittoon to discard the wine from your mouth, so that your mouth can contemplate the aftertaste. Or swallow if you're secretly seeking a nice buzz.

8) Take a moment and think about the experience of the taste, including your first impressions, the flavors while it was in your mouth, and the aftertaste. Make a note of these thoughts.

9) You are now on your way to becoming a wine connoisseur."

Sideways..A movie review..http://www2.foxsearchlight.com/sideways/

I always enjoy waiting to go into a movie at the Kentucky Theatre. Seeing the intellectuals of Lexington leave a good quality movie reassures me. Last nights serving of movie genius was Sideways, the new work from director Alexander Payne. Payne was responsible for such fine works as Election and About Schmidt, and this movie ranks right up there with them in quality. The story is this- Miles (Paul Giamatti), an 8th grade teacher and failed writer, gives his buddy Jack (Thomas Haden Church) a has been actor, a gift of a wine tasting trip the week before Jack gets married. Naturally these two are polar opposites, Miles is still grieving over a divorce, and Jack wants to get laid a few more times before he gets hitched. Also, Miles is a wine expert, Jack could drink Mad Dog 20/20 and not care. The only thing that joins these two is a common past and fear of the future. They make it to the wine country of Coastal California, where trouble soon follows. Miles re-meets a divorced waitress and fellow wine expert, Maya (Virginia Madsen). Jack hooks up with one of Maya's friends Stephanie (Sandra Oh), a local vineyard worker and single mother. Of course the guys have two different agendas, Miles falls in love, Jack wants a bed buddy and tells Stephanie what she wants to hear. Through the course of both relationships they wander the Central California coast wineries in all their beauty, till Jack starts talking about giving up wedding plans and Miles finds his book will not be published. Of course Stephanie finds out the truth from Maya, and everything blows up.
This movie has an abundance of great acting. I personally liked Virginia Madsen's performance. She was all soul. Thomas Hayden Church was also hilarious as Jack. He played the aging actor afraid to lose his mojo to perfection. I hadn't seen him in anything since the series Wings. The most prominent characters were actually the Central California locations and the process of wine tasting itself. Payne seems to use both as a metaphor for the lives of the characters: wine needs nurturing, some years are better than others, and some wines mature faster than others. Payne also shows a good contrast of the aristocratic business of wine with the ordinary Wal-mart locals who work in the trenches with it.
This is a must see for people who like a well written movie with an education enjoined with it. You enjoy the movie and learn about wine at the same time..Perfect.

Life imitates art.

I found this story in darwinawards.com :


(1996) Two local men were seriously injured when their pickup truck left the road and struck a tree near Cotton Patch on state Highway 38 early Monday morning. Woodruff County Deputy Dovey Snyder reported the accident shortly after midnight Monday.
Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc, and Billy Ray Wallis, 38, of Little Rock, are listed in serious condition at Baptist Medical Center. The accident occurred as the two men were returning to Des Arc after a frog-giggin' trip.
On an overcast Sunday night, Poole's pickup truck's headlights malfunctioned. The two men concluded that the headlight fuse on the older model truck had burned out. A replacement fuse was not available, but Wallis noticed that the .22 caliber bullet from his pistol fit perfectly into the fuse box next to the steering wheel column. Upon inserting the bullet, the headlights again began to operate properly and the two men proceeded on eastbound toward the White River Bridge.
After traveling approximately 20 miles, just before crossing the river, the bullet apparently overheated, discharged and struck Poole in the right testicle. The vehicle swerved sharply to the right, exiting the pavement and striking a tree. Poole suffered only minor cuts and abrasions from the accident but will require surgery to repair the other wound. Wallis sustained a broken clavicle and was treated and released.
"Thank God we weren't on that bridge when Thurston (shot his intimate parts off) or we might have been dead," stated Wallis. "I've been a trooper for 10 years in this part of the world, but this is a first for me. I can't believe that those two would admit how the accident happened," said Snyder.
Upon being notified of the wreck, Lavinia, Poole's wife, asked how many frogs the boys had caught.
Incorrectly attributed to the Arkansas Democrat Gazette, 25 July 1996. The Gazette issued a decisive statement denouncing this story as a hoax on October 17, 1997.

Now in Episode 10 Season 1 of Mythbusters (http://dsc.discovery.com/fansites/mythbusters/mythbusters.html) Jamey Hyneman and Adam Savage proved this was indeed possible, witht he same ball busting results. Amazing how rednecks can actually found science...HAHHAh

Me windswept in the mountains of Kentucky 

An average crazy two weeks

As everyone can tell, I haven't been on in while. I've kinda been on an emotional roller coaster. Met a guy, he wanted me way too fast too soon, and of course I freaked and almost blew it. Well all but blew it. Anyway it cooled as fast as it heated up, so it makes a bit of twisted sense. Been working on my embroidery, and not my painting, but art is art. I wanted to go see Gaelic Storm at Woodsongs, but they of course sold out before I could make the reservations. Never fear, I cheated and watched the netcast of it..The reason I pay my cable bill-broadband rocks. I went ahead and bought my Horton Heat ticket early, so I'm set. The holiday's are upon me once more. They suck as badly as they ever did. Thus I will have my first holidays completely alone, with my art supplies and pot and own good company. I'm trying to run a turkey trot on thurs, the Throroughbred 5000 at Keeneland, but having trouble finding a ride...A taxi will have to do in a pinch. I'm running at 7 minute stresses at a time now..I hope to make it to 10 minutes by xmas. Probably alienated Dan too. He found out I had sex since we broke up, which I guess I wasn't supposed to do since we broke up 4 months ago :P he's been moody all week, probably not all because of me but I always play my part to annoy...Its my best quality LOL.

Being clumsy with the Clumsy Lovers

Yes my favorite band was in town again: The Clumsy Lovers. The flew back into The Dame as they promised this summer. I went by myself since Dan has moved in with his trainwreck and her deliquents, and bailed. Typical. Anyway, the show started with an opening band familiar and new to Lexington audiences, Parlor Tricks. They are made up of members from several local bands, including Big Maracas, The Yonders, and Stoll Vaughn. They has a melancholy sound, but they were good. The second band was the Navigators, a New York 4 piece touring with CL. They had a good feeling rock sound, but the bassist stood out. Imagine Flea from Red Hot Chili Peppers on a standing Bass and you have this guy. He was amazing.
Then Clumsy Lovers hit the stage roaring. If you sit still during one of their shows, you have to be comatose. They only played 2 songs from the current CD, which disappointed me, but the played the important one, Everything's OK. They played a few older pieces, and some newly written material. Andrea was incredible, her fiddle has never sounded better, and she adorable. Trevor and Chris took turns signing. Gord was solid on the kit, and the encore was Jason playing a classical piece on the banjo. Members of the Navigators even came back on stage for a song. It was rollicking and fun, a good way to forget winter's coming and the election sucked. It was a delightful time for all.

http://www.clumsylovers.com

The Liberal's lament....

This hit our office from somewhere on the net...I appreciated it.


Psalm 2004

Bush is my shepherd, I shall be in want.
He maketh me to lie down on park benches.
He leadeth me beside the still factories.
He restoreth my doubts about the Republican Party.
He leadeth me onto the paths of unemployment for his cronies' sake.
Yea, though no weapons of mass destruction have been found,
He makest me continue to fear Evil.
His tax cuts for the rich and his deficit spending discomfort me.
He anointest me with never-ending debt:
Verily my days of savings and assets are kaput.
Surely poverty and hard living shall follow me all the days of his
administration,
And my jobless child shall dwell in my basement forever.

hahhah amen

Me now..the current pic.. 

The best headline in the World 

The British have it right

Here is a link to the cover of the Mirror in Britain......It is now my wallpaper on my puter...
http://www.mirror.co.uk/frontpages/

Resources for the Struggle..

Since I am staying in this country I love to fight the Regime, I thought I might share some info for those who wish to join me...

Civil Liberties:
--The American Civil Liberties Union (www.aclu.org)
This is the one group that has stood toe to toe with this administration and won. They are battling the Patriot Act as hard as they can. The ACLU protects all assaults on the Constitution. You can join, or just register on the web site and they have an online letter system where you can email your representatives and (ahem) President directly. This is the big group to protect us here, please support them.

--Amnesty International USA (http://www.amnestyusa.org/ ) This group has been fighting the good fight for human dignity and rights for decades, and have been trying to keep the current administration honest about there own failures, Guantánamo and Abu Ghraib are the most open. They choose no favorites, they fight any country committing atrocities, even our own.

Reproductive Rights:
--Planned Parenthood (http://www.plannedparenthood.org/)
The oldest reproductive choice group in the country. They are on the front lines trying to protect choice, along with the ACLU. Abortion Rights is something Bush will go after big time, and this group have the power to fight.

--National Organization for Women (http://www.now.org/). They are on the forefront of women's rights, gay or straight. They also have the political clout to fight for reproductive, and sexual rights. This, on top of social issues such as equal pay, and other gender issues Bush has blown off.

Environment:
--Greenpeace USA (http://www.greenpeaceusa.org/). Fearless or foolhardy, Greenpeace fights for the environment with the gloves off. They like to get in the face of anyone destroying out planet, including our president. They may be extreme, but these are extreme times. Bush will tear down 20 years of environmental law, they will fight.
--Sierra Club (http://www.sierraclub.org/) They are a bit more subtle than Greenpeace, but carry as much clout. This is the oldest environmental group in the USA, and have influence in Congress.

As with the ACLU, all of these organizations have a Take Action Now Section, where you can log in and send faxes and emails for free to you legislative reps, leader, or any other entity that can be made to listen. I get malicious glee thinking about my various leaders getting faxed bombed by pissed off constituents. This is the best place to begin..Give them a try.

The War Pigs Won

I thought this extremely appropriate considering. I want to figure out a way for this song to play through Bush's fillings, with the screams of all the dead he killed. I no longer will sit in silence. Half this country has been cheated. I will not sit still.

War Pigs/Luke's Wall (7:55)

Gen'rals gathered in their masses,
Just like witches at black masses
Evil minds that plot destruction,
Sorcerer of death's construction
In the fields the bodies burning,
As the war machine keeps turning
Death and hatred to mankind,
Poisoning their brainwashed minds
Oh Lord Yeah!

Politicians hide themselves away
They only started the war
Why should they go out to fight?
They leave thier role to the poor, yeah

Time will tell on their power minds,
Making war just for fun
Treating people just like pawns in chess,
Wait 'till their judgement day comes, yeah

Now in darkness world stops turning,
Ashes where the bodies burning
No more War Pigs have the power,
And as God has struck the hour
Day of judgement, God is calling
On their knees the war pigs crawling,
Begging mercies for their sins
Satan, laughing, spreads his wings
Oh Lord Yeah!"

America

Today, I was proud to be an American, for the first time in four years. I walked to Woodland School to do my part. I Walked in and was stunned by what I saw. It wasn't the line that shocked me, I expected that. It was the age of the voters. The majority were under 30. I've participated in 4 presidential elections all over the country, and I've never seen the number of 18-25 yr. olds like I did today. It looks like most of the staff and student body old enough at the University of Kentucky participated: it's why Fayette Co. Is the most liberal in the state. They were pouring in when I left, but my wait was only 15 minutes. I suppose younger voters realized that is is probably the most important election in their lifetimes. Looks what's on the line for them: a draft, cut financial aid, no jobs when they graduate, and deep debt where the schools have to raise tuition because of budget cuts. This is the most critical decision they may make. Now true, Kerry wasn't as bold as I would have liked. I wanted Howard Dean, ass would have been kicked in government if he had made it. Kerry will play it safe, but still better than Dubya.

My wants are simple for this country. We need to get back our credibility over seas. We need to get the deficit down. We need to open up research to science and not religion. We need an equal rights amendment not only for women, but gays and lesbians too. We need to get the fuck out of Iraq. We need to catch Bin Laden. We need to be responsible with our environment and cut our oil usage--find alternative energy sources. Medical care and education must be a priority. And religion must be separated from state and politics once and for all. And the only way to accomplish this is to one day get a president who is not afraid, or crazy. Maybe in my lifetime...

Lyrics alert..

"Johnny Tarr:" Gaelic Storm

Lemme tell you a little story about a man named Johnny Tarr.
He was a hard drinking son of a preacher, he was always at the bar.
Lager from the tap or shots of Paddy from the shelf.
He could open his throttle and throw back a bottle as quick as the devil himself.
Johnny Tarr!
Word got around that Johnny Tarr was no pretender.
From Clare to here they'd lock up the beer when Johnny went on a bender.
Down at Dickey Mack's, the Rising Sun, or at the Swan
if he was drinking at seven by ten to eleven well all the booze would be gone!
Johnny Tarr!

Chorus:
Even if you saw it yourself, you wouldn't believe it.
And I wouldn't trust a person like me, if I were you.
I wasn't there. I swear I have an alibi.
I heard it from a man who knows a fellow who says it's true!

It was nine in the morning on a cold rainy night.
Johnny rolled into the Castle Bar, looking to get tight.
He had money in his pocket, he had whiskey in his eye.
He said, "Get up off your asses and set up the glasses. I'm drinking this place dry!"
Now all the serious boozers, they were soon broken hearted
when Johnny finished off six and he was only getting started.
Guzzling down the pints, knockin' em back like candy.
He was lookin' alright to be drinkin' all night, then Nora brought out the Brandy!
Johnny Tarr!

Chorus

Johnny drank the whole damn bottle, had another pint or two.
When it made no impression he started his session with Murphy's Millenium Brew.
He was waiting for his pint when his face turned green
Jesus, Johnny fell down after only fifteen!
You could have heard a pin drop, then the crowd let out a ROAR!
It took five Cork women to lift Johnny off the floor!
The doctor looked him over and said, "you better call the hearse,
but it's not what you're thinkin'. It wasn't the drinkin'! This man died of thirst!!"

Chorus.