Thursday, July 01, 2004

avatars and messengers --

I am constantly amazed at the way the Goddess has ways to tell you that life is good, and...everythings ok. The week was long, work was long, life drug me down like a feedsack I was pulling behind me. My metaphor for life right now is running. If the day sucks, the run usually takes the stress away and gives me a nice runners buzz for the rest of the evening. Lets not kid ourselves, I won't be in the Olympics. The pounding of my feet, my heart racing and concentraiting on oxygen normally kicks the ass of anything bothering. Thus if the run sucks, the day is fucked and unredeemable. Today I had a nice epiphanious run that gave me hope.
Ran around the first corner, and got a yelp of encouragement from the local college guys that live on that street. Normally, the comments screamed at me are usually not repeatable in daylight, but not today. A few hundred yards later I was getting ready to go by a hippy kid that I see around, but have never spoken to. 4 feet away he asked if I wanted a lavender flower (there is a local nursery that grows them along that street). I was touched, I haven't gotten a flower of any kind from any man in forever. I'm in midstride so I can't stop, so I tuck it into my bandana around my head and trot on after smiling and thanking him on the way past. The smell of lavender in my hair, the ease of my steps today, combined with the dopamine kick sent me into a trance as I cruised around the second corner. I finally went around the third corner to the hill that normally kicks my ass. Half way up someone yells out a car window, "don't quit you can do it". Three big messenges in one run: I had to ponder the meaning during my cooldown/stagger on the way home. I've been praying all week for a sign that life is serenely moving the way I want it and this run was what I needed. A nice, Zen-witch moment from Hecate stating that the life transformation was on course and with little turbulence, for now. I sit here sweaty, stinky, and calm with a runners buzz. Everything's ok.